9. a continuation of (8): to people who feel fluent with nonverbal communication norms, insistence on verbalization can seem stupid, onerous, excessively bureaucratic, etc
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19. eventually you find yourself anticipating actions that aren't remotely likely from the other person and since your model is particularly inaccurate wrt conflict, and it's actually impossible to avoid all possible conflicts...
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...you may find yourself the least equipped to handle things well at times when the need for those skills is the highest.
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20. one drawback of the "handle immediately" approach is that it can be disruptive and inefficient in the short run being able to table a conflict for later while you handle the most immediate parts of life is also important!
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21. another drawback is that it is vulnerable to being hijacked if one party has dramatically more upsets that need Dealt With than the other
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22. another risk that I haven't encountered might be: your primary source of intimacy is the good feeling that comes after the minor hurts have been soothed and the conflict has been resolved could lead to Bad Incentives
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23. (22) seems like a pretty general risk interpersonally, actually if the Best that you feel is after terrible or painful things occur you can find yourself leaning way too hard into terrible or painful things
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Kraj razgovora
Novi razgovor -
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