Entrepreneur. Founded @_binomial with @richgel999 - creators of Basis (image compressor). Khronos. VR/AR, graphics, math, code + art, business. 
She/her
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more
* Subtleties: This works best for policies you know are pretty standard and not too wild, and it actually can be a bit aggressive, especially if your ask isn’t normal for them (but coated in honey 
) so its not best if the relationships on thin ice or you really need the deal.
But in general, one of the biggest things that surprised me in business is how my natural tendency to want to be friendly serves me super well in negotiation- people like working with nice people. The key: also be firm. Friendly + confidence/self respect is a killer combination.
I have the friendly part down I think. Can you talk more about being firm when you have time?
I mean finding ways to hold your ground in a friendly way, not equating kindness to never paying attention to your own needs
Yes this makes sense. I'm not very good at this. I always feel guilt, aggressive and that I'm the bad guy telling people what I want. I am getting better though, I had a moment I was proud of last year but it came from a place of frustration and near anger rather than confidence
This is a deep issue and can come from painful places. A joint sense that 1) you don’t deserve to stand your ground, and 2) if you do you’ll lose control and eviscerate your foes. I don’t have an easy answer for that since the nuances vary between each person. But I sympathize
One of my most amusing moments was decades ago, when I was talking to a recruiter, and instead of moving forward he tried to give me resume advice. I got pissed off and politely pulled it out of his hands, saying “I appreciate that but I’m here to help your clients” or something
He looked at me weird and then went and talked to his boss, and called me back the next morning with an invitation to come in. I think about my psychology in that moment and I know I nailed it, and have stayed true to that, but I still can’t explain it well in words.
If your aggression comes from a negative place, from jealousy or anger or insecurity, it can cause damage and little good. But if it comes from a positive place, from a desire to help people, to make a difference, to build a better world, it can be profound.
I still can’t turn that into solid concrete advice, but maybe it’s food for thought.
That's a killer combination in all aspects of life. One must strive to be that way.
Also, being nice and understanding goes a long way especially when the opposite party expects you to act in a negative way.
well put
Amanda Ripley’s “The Unthinkable...” has a fascinating story about a police officer who trained other officers to shoot by “if you don’t do this technique you will get shot” wording. He changed the wording to “do this and you will be safe” and tracked officer performance. 1/2
He found that in actual shootouts of officers he’d trained, the ones he’d used the newer approach on did better. Something deep in the brain responds very strongly to affirmative and positive wording. Social engineers use the same trick very successfully.
One of those odd situations where the polite and positive approach is both so effective and so unintuitive that it actually constitutes a hack.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
