JavaScript boy and “lovely thoughtleader” 
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Not pretty, but you can use an immediately-invoked async arrow function.
Wont work for my use-case. I'm using it in a test file to build up individual test-cases based on some fixtures. The test runner relies on all known-tests to be available upon module execution so it can accurately run them.
/*:: (async () => { */ /*:: }(); */
This works and it's amazing. Thank you so much!
In tests, ie nodejs environment, you may synchronously _wait_ for a promise, which is top level await you are looking for -https://github.com/abbr/deasync
Native module is a no-go but thanks for the recommendation, surprised at how small the code is!
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