Today someone asked me how you coach the "alpha geek/brilliant jerk" out of being that person. The answer ultimately boils down to two simple things: Have you really, truly, looked them in the eye and told them the problem? Do they want to change?
Often what I say is like: "I understand why you said what you said, but I think you upset people. You would be much more effective if you had communicated it this way. Blowing off steam might feel good, but I know you ultimately care about quality work."
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This speaks to their source of self esteem. Often the root cause is them not having the patience and emotional groundedness to put work in to communicate well.
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