Rezultati pretraživanja
  1. prije 6 sati

    “Kansas City Chiefs” - insensitive to Native Americans - only have one kind of bowl - at least they’re not Washington? “Kansas City Chefs” - woah baby - this fucking rules - vast assortment of bowls - what ya whipping up in the kitchen? - can i have some

  2. 28. sij

    guy at bar: *up in my face* what the fuck did you just say to me me: i said “stuart little doesn’t drive a toy car, it is a real car that has simply been made to be very small” guy at bar: *smashing bottle* that doesn’t make any fucking sense

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  3. 27. sij

    me: you know what they say about big feet 😏 girl at the bar: *sighs* big sh- me: *pulls out grainy photo from the woods behind my house* they fucking exist

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  4. 31. sij

    guard 1: choose your path wisely. one of us always lies and one of us alwa- guard 2: AAAAAAHHH guard 1: always screams me: doesn’t that get annoying? guard 1: *heavy sigh* no it’s super fucking awesome

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  5. 2. velj

    [guy who’s about to invent spaghetti] *looking at snakes* what if they were italian

  6. prije 24 sata

    me, the only one in spanish class who can’t roll his r’s:

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  7. 2. velj

    snake: eat the apple me: why snake: it will give you knowledge of good and evil me: *taking bite* is this locally sourced

  8. 29. sij

    roads can have a little boulder, as a large boulder

  9. prije 4 sata

    woo, and i cannot stress this enough, hoo

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  10. 31. sij

    “wait, this isn’t one of those pyramid schemes, right?” i say as i am sealed in the sarcophagus

  11. 28. sij

    for every whip, there is an equal and opposite nae nae

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  12. 2. velj

    [commercial] husband: can’t wait to have the boys over for ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢ ɢᴀᴍᴇ wife: and you know ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢ ɢᴀᴍᴇ calls for big snacks me: haha, you guys mean the super bowl? [their bodies freeze, their eyes notice me for the first time] me: guys? [the walls begin to melt]

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  13. 28. sij

    anne: what do geologists study? The Police: *deep breath*

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  14. 29. sij

    detective: there’s been a murder stephen king: sounds supernatural detective: well from the evidence maybe more like a robbery gone ba- stephen king: el chupacabra

  15. 28. sij

    welll we all just wanna be lil stuarts wearing nice mouse sweaters drivin red toy cars

  16. 30. sij

    yeah, I believe in PREMARITAL SEX Parentheses R Exponents Multiplication A R I Division Addition L Subtraction E X

  17. 31. sij
  18. prije 4 sata

    today is the darkest day of the year for pigs, where they must once again go back to being blanketless

  19. 2. velj

    we live in an era of political and social disunity. as we root for our respective teams today, let’s reflect also on what we can all agree on: its good and just that mr. peanut is dead & if the planters corporation brings him back to life then they are history’s greatest cowards

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  20. 1. velj

    happy friday night. pleased to report my streak of ruining every karaoke event by insisting on singing runaway by kanye west remains intact.

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