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I just blocked Skittles in case anyone thinks I’m fucking around tonight
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When England sent the Pilgrims to America they did not send their best
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Welcome to your late thirties. You own blouses now.
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I’ve been married for 4 ½ months and I already feel seen by Meatloaf at the end of the song “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” when he swears to love his lady until the end of time then prays for the end of time to hurry the fuck up
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I haven’t had a drink in ten years and no one had less to do with it than any kind of higher power. Thanks to everyone who has supported me along the way. I couldn’t have done it without you
pic.twitter.com/omZEgIJDSc
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Why does Jack White always look like he just fingerbanged a ten year old girl and can’t wait to tell you all about itpic.twitter.com/ODYhsw6LfG
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This dude in my IG inbox thinks I haven’t thought about this in great detail every single daypic.twitter.com/gDzN6u9jN4
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Me (nervously approaching 40): Should we have a baby? Husband: No. Me: What if we have one and if we don’t like it after like four weeks we’ll take it to a SafeHaven? Husband: You can’t just *try out* a baby. Babies aren’t Amazon Prime.
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Trump hasn’t tweeted in 9 hours please god let him be dead
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I love it when Democrats and Republicans bicker back and forth as if both parties aren’t completely full of shit
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LOUDER
FOR
THE
PEOPLE
IN
THE
BACK
https://twitter.com/ReticentTurnip/status/1221652484906803205 … -
*Driving in a car w/ my bf* *Bohemian Rhapsody comes on the radio* Me: *sings every word* BF: *silence* *song ends* Me: “I think we should see other people.”
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As a sexual assault survivor I’m not going to sit here and mourn the death of a rapist so miss me with the
#RIPKobe horsrshit -
I have never encountered a more genuinely and truly awful person than this little girl. This tweet is tame by her standards. Twitter, you know what to do.pic.twitter.com/XOjjERWAY8
Prikaži ovu nit -
47 years ago today the SCOTUS ruled in favor of Roe v. Wade. Almost a half century later women’s reproductive rights are being curtailed by bureaucratic men. I’m grateful every single day that I live in a place where I can get a safe and legal abortion if I want or need one.
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Where do you fall in the political spectrum I’m herepic.twitter.com/qYj3jKal2z
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If not for spite I’d do next to nothing
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MLK was a socialist. He called out white people whose silence was seen as complicit to the cause of civil rights. Any white person who throws up a quote from the “I Have a Dream” speech needs to stop whitewashing history.
#MLKDay
pic.twitter.com/M3j5GKvtYc
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