Rezultati pretraživanja
  1. 21. sij

    *Wile E Coyote comes out of building, looks both ways and speed walks away*

  2. 6. pro 2019.

    When you've had such a bad day at work even your cat knows not to fuck with you

  3. 30. pro 2019.

    This picture accurately represents how I feel at work every day

  4. 30. stu 2019.

    The rest of the college football world watching Alabama get eliminated from the playoffs

  5. 5. pro 2019.

    Her: Where is my birthday present? Me: It's coming Her: I hope you didn't spend a lot of money Me: Just look up

  6. Osobe Vidi sve

  7. 19. stu 2019.

    Wife: Just stick to the grocery list Me: I am Wife: Nothing but what's on the list Me: [crossing fingers] I promise

  8. 13. pro 2019.

    Me: We're taking the bus Her: I don't like the bus. Let's fly - it's way quicker. Me: Just get on the bus Her: Yes, we are definitely taking the bus

  9. 16. pro 2019.

    This makes me so angry I want to punch a reindeer

  10. prije 11 sati

    Hi everyone - my daughter's goal is to get 100 signatures on this petition. I bet you want to something good on this Monday morning, don't you?

  11. 2. velj

    My daughter feels strongly about female representation esp in country music. She found out country stations aren't allowed to play two females back to back and she was so outraged she started this petition. Do me a favor and take a sec to click and sign!

  12. 30. sij
  13. 29. sij

    Not trying to brag but I've been selected by Twitter to take a brief survey

  14. 10. sij

    When Dr Strange was checking out every future timeline in Infinity War, he saw how many times you jerked off in every single one

  15. 7. sij

    Me: OK, guess I'm going to sleep Brain: What about all your bills? Me: Why would you... Brain: Can Iran reach us with a bomb? Me:

  16. 31. pro 2019.

    ┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓ ┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃ ┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃ GONNA EAT WAY MORE PIGS IN BLANKETS ┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃ ┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃ ┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛

  17. 26. pro 2019.

    Looking forward to celebrating Boxing Day by googling "what is Boxing Day?"

  18. 23. pro 2019.

    A money saving tip for mailing Christmas cards is don't put stamps on them and then just put the recipients address in the top left corner.

  19. 23. pro 2019.

    Me: [Nov 30] I can't wait until Christmas. I love Christmas! Me: [Dec 23] I can't wait until Christmas is over. I fucking hate Christmas.

  20. 19. pro 2019.

    [knock @ door] Me: Who is it? Moon: Ummm...it Lou. Me: What's your last name? Moon: Nar. Me: I'm not opening the door. You're just the moon in disguise. Moon: No, it's just a phase

  21. 16. pro 2019.

    Me: There are more molecules of air in one breath than there are breaths in the atmosphere. That means that every breath you take probably contains at least one molecule of one of Hitler’s farts. Psychiatrist: Again, I really don't think that's what's causing your anxiety

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