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*Wile E Coyote comes out of building, looks both ways and speed walks away*pic.twitter.com/9ty755b7UB
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When you've had such a bad day at work even your cat knows not to fuck with youpic.twitter.com/VBUHyItuUh
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This picture accurately represents how I feel at work every daypic.twitter.com/zkeE7dkEIa
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The rest of the college football world watching Alabama get eliminated from the playoffspic.twitter.com/p9aSQmdt3d
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Her: Where is my birthday present? Me: It's coming Her: I hope you didn't spend a lot of money Me: Just look uppic.twitter.com/HpGpb3LNja
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Osobe Vidi sve
@Playing_Dad We learned more from a three-minute record, baby, than we ever learned in school
United States • twitter.com/search?q=from%…
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Wife: Just stick to the grocery list Me: I am Wife: Nothing but what's on the list Me: [crossing fingers] I promisepic.twitter.com/73wARNywlK
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Me: We're taking the bus Her: I don't like the bus. Let's fly - it's way quicker. Me: Just get on the bus Her: Yes, we are definitely taking the buspic.twitter.com/hvHhufKLHE
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This makes me so angry I want to punch a reindeerhttps://twitter.com/chUckbUte/status/1206252680789708800 …
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Hi everyone - my daughter's goal is to get 100 signatures on this petition. I bet you want to something good on this Monday morning, don't you?https://twitter.com/Playing_Dad/status/1224040226919763968 …
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My daughter feels strongly about female representation esp in country music. She found out country stations aren't allowed to play two females back to back and she was so outraged she started this petition. Do me a favor and take a sec to click and sign!https://www.change.org/p/tim-roberts-end-female-country-music-prejudice?recruiter=322211458&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_petition&recruited_by_id=a20aef50-15f3-11e5-8a7a-071a53f7d69e&utm_content=starter_fb_share_content_en-us%3Av10 …
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Not trying to brag but I've been selected by Twitter to take a brief survey
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When Dr Strange was checking out every future timeline in Infinity War, he saw how many times you jerked off in every single one
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Me: OK, guess I'm going to sleep Brain: What about all your bills? Me: Why would you... Brain: Can Iran reach us with a bomb? Me:pic.twitter.com/w6G12j4i3k
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┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓ ┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃ ┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃ GONNA EAT WAY MORE PIGS IN BLANKETS ┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃ ┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃ ┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛
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Looking forward to celebrating Boxing Day by googling "what is Boxing Day?"
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A money saving tip for mailing Christmas cards is don't put stamps on them and then just put the recipients address in the top left corner.
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Me: [Nov 30] I can't wait until Christmas. I love Christmas! Me: [Dec 23] I can't wait until Christmas is over. I fucking hate Christmas.
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[knock @ door] Me: Who is it? Moon: Ummm...it Lou. Me: What's your last name? Moon: Nar. Me: I'm not opening the door. You're just the moon in disguise. Moon: No, it's just a phasepic.twitter.com/icJ9pDmHzl
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Me: There are more molecules of air in one breath than there are breaths in the atmosphere. That means that every breath you take probably contains at least one molecule of one of Hitler’s farts. Psychiatrist: Again, I really don't think that's what's causing your anxiety
Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.
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