Celeste

@seamarMN

I’m glad to see the end game of feminism is women dressing like Dennis the Menace at work.

Saint Paul, MN
Vrijeme pridruživanja: veljača 2012.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My company's new health insurer is literally requiring we give them blood for a lower deductible. Please don't take my private insurance!!!

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    A friend sends me this pic, seen from a highway in the Heartland. My first thought: How unhappy your life must be that you climbed onto a barn and painted the name of a New York billionaire who, to this moment, you still don't realize doesn't give a shit about you.

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    Shakira is 43 Lev Parnas is 47 J Lo is 50

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  4. 3. velj
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    Want to know why it’s complicated to file your taxes? Because Turbo Tax successfully lobbies against making filing our taxes easier. Or free.

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  6. 31. sij

    Mommy Vlogs from off-grid, homestead preppers is my fav on YouTube. “Now some of you will be blessed with 2 laundry sticks, but if God only gave you one, here’s how you can rinse it so you can use it twice for your wash.”

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  7. 31. sij

    My ancestors didn’t flee Willmar, MN for me to ever have to suffer through a turkey dinner again.

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  8. 31. sij
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  9. 30. sij

    My 9 year-old and I finished a Costco-sized tub of sour cream in a week, in case you wanted to know how Polish I am

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    A Trump lawyer just argued that "every public official that I know" believes their own re-election is in the public interest, and "mostly you're right," and so a quid pro quo to help get yourself re-elected, "in the public interest," is not impeachable.

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  11. 29. sij

    This is the exact speech that landed me my current role as SharePoint administrator.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My wife and I never baby talk to our kids. We speak only in Klingon, and train them to honor us in battle. My son is 3 and has already passed the Rite Of Ascension. Enemies are shocked at his Bat'leth skills. My daughter isn’t even 2 and she recites The Warrior's Anthem. Qapla’!

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  13. 29. sij

    It must be difficult to be raised by America’s Most Perfect Parents—and Christian Zealots to boot. FWIW, by 3, my son could say “poop” in three languages, so I was also Crushing Parenting.

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  14. 29. sij

    This will be really helpful when they need to really articulate to their therapist how joyless and exacting their childhood felt.

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  15. 29. sij

    People in my office use whatever turnstile they want with no regard for 300+ years of social contract. I desperately want to ask them: “Where are you from? No, I mean, where are you *really* from? Like, Europe, or something? I detected a hint of inability to walk on the right.”

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  16. 29. sij

    😳 Yowzers! This cuts right to the existential core. What do you think the MN version of this public owning would be?

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  17. 27. sij

    The wild frantic energy of the showcase showdown embarrasses me as an adult. Consumerism run amok and then sold as entertainment. I will never be that excited for a new Kia.

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  18. 27. sij

    They added a hot young male merchandise model. It’s really strange they didn’t have one years ago. Know your audience.

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  19. 27. sij

    Ben is home sick and I’m making him take the sick day “The Price is Right” experience.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. sij

    Me when I hear there’s pizza in the conference room

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