This is a MONTHLY budget. The rich have absolutely no connection whatsoever to reality.
Gretchen Felker-Martin
@scumbelievable
Beyond the grace of God, a wanderer in the outer darkness
New novel CUCKOO out 6/11/24 from Tor Nightfire
pfp by
Repped by
Gretchen Felker-Martin’s Tweets
The idea that a world ruled by women would be a kinder or gentler one is, in its own way, deeply misogynistic. Women are complete people. This entails a capacity for cruelty and an inability to cope with holding power over others without enacting violence and oppression.
I wish I was Zeus. I wish I could just fling a thunderbolt and be done with it.
"Where do I stand on the -- on the WHAT? The "Transgender Question"? Well for one thing, sir, I recall the last few usages of that particular phraseology. A group of millions is not a question -- I have not yet finished speaking -- not a question, but a demographic."
french horror is like "the skin... an ill-fitting garment for my sordid existence..." and italian horror is like "oh no frangela, knife-hands the serial stabber has escaped from knife prison"
The Green Knight cost 15 million and looks better than basically anything that has ever cost over a hundred million. Money is fake and craft is everything.
how do you write? first, make a gay little man. now give him a problem.
I googled "fat weasel" and I was not disappointed.
ah͚̹́.̘̙̕.̳͓̟̜̱͖.͓̪̩̫͘M̯͕̘͈r̞̹̻̤͎̰͟.͍̭̺̗̯̗͢ P͍͟o̪͕̝̻͔li̴̭̫c̯̫̫͇͍͈e̵̖̯.̲̼̘̝͎͎̝͟ ̺̼̞͎͓̻
̵̳͈
͓̥̮̹̰͎͜He̵̦ļ̟̫l̼̠o̧̦̫͈͖
No matter how carefully you construct a villain's tragic backstory, your D&D party's going to come at them exactly like this.
AFAB: Assigned female at birth
AMAB: Assigned male at birth
ACAB: All cops are bastards
AHAB: Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink a-
Wow turns out I had never in my life experienced fury until the second I read the sentence "the shooter now claims he is non-binary"
Twin Peaks is a perfect demonstration of how to make a murder mystery about the victim rather than the killer and that lesson has been resolutely ignored by all subsequent "a beautiful girl got murdered" fiction.
oh you haven't had mcdonalds in HOW many years? should we call everyone? should we have a party? should we invite bella hadid
I have absolutely no problem saying the shooter isn't non-binary and that his attempt to cast himself as such is nakedly false and manipulative. I have a working brain and understand this bears no relation to misgendering newly out trans people.
I shit you not, I turned on NPR and heard "we've spent today listening to the native peoples of the Arctic, but there's one group with a huge stake in the area's future we haven't heard from -- the oil and gas companies"
Porco Rosso could easily outfly and kill Maverick from Top Gun
Man Who Is Sad About How Good at Killing He Is
Quote Tweet
What’s your favorite type of character? Like the one that you always tend to gravitate towards
Learned just now that in Australia, milk is considered a "beach drink". Degenerate continent.
It's all "be gay, do crime" until it's a trans woman performing actual meaningful resistance to hegemony, then the tenderqueers start wringing their hands and finding reasons to dissociate from her.
Quote Tweet
So much of culture writing & online discourse is 2 million mostly professional class coastal liberals talking to each other, and it's unhealthy. You don't have to be lowbrow, but for God's sake, it's a big country. Show a little curiosity about what everyone else is watching.
"When Darren Aronofsky and Christopher Nolan make careers out of ripping off Satoshi Kon" twitter.com/h0usepornss/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
"IT DOESN' MADDA WHEDDA THEY'RE IN DA MATRIX OR NOT; CONSCIOUSNESS IS ITS OWN PRISON, AN' DA FIVE SENSES AH' ITS WARDENS! DA TRUTH IS, YEH JUST AFRAID *WE'RE* IN DA MATRIX, AN' EVEN IN A BOUNDLESS DIGITAL WONDAHLAND YEH LIVIN A COWAHD'S LIFE, LIKE A DOG!"
drinking the hot broth out of a bowl of ramen is exactly what i've always imagined it feels like to take a health potion
i have crossed oceans of time to find you.... one, two, three oceans! ah ah ah!
seeing some shit like "Special effects for The Creature" in the credits is maybe the single best indication you're about to watch an absolute fuckin banger
Replying to
"One joke stretched until you can hear its joints popping like some poor bastard broken on the rack. "Oh my car has pronouns, I identify as a bird, I'm trans-Chinese." The laziness of it -- shameful. You should see the transgendered roast themselves; there's true scorched earth."
I cannot for the life of me understand why people think shit like this means a single goddamn thing. A book can be about Russians. Russians are people, not orcs from Mordor.
Quote Tweet
Important announcement about THE SNOW FOREST. Please note that if you were charged for your pre-order, you will be fully refunded. Thank you so much.
1:43
Replying to
"The Romans had their castrated priestesses, the Hindus their Hijras, but my god, let us take to the barricades because Uncle Al came to Thanksgiving in a skirt and pantyhose! It's the province of rubes. Hayseed reactionaries and the worst effluvia of America's suburban colon."
I think what many people fail to grasp is that modern billionaires are 1=1 with the moronic, desperate kings who paid alchemists and magicians fortunes to make them immortal. They believe money grants them magical powers and protects them from any and all consequences.
Aimee Terese saying "you will never be a woman" to a picture of HERSELF is like the posting equivalent of a bird flying into a mirror and breaking its neck.
"What business is it of mine if a young man requires -- no, I will not play linguistic games with you. I will not engage in sophistry, sir -- requires the services of an abortion doctor? Last I checked it bore no cost in blood for the Bette Midlers of the world!"
The experience of being homeschooled is completely encapsulated by the time I went to a book club for homeschooled teens and there was a girl there dressed in a crushed velvet revolutionary war uniform who introduced herself by saying "I fancy myself a bit of a libertine"
kinda funny that to "ghost" someone means the single universally agreed upon thing that ghosts do not do, which is leave
The "problematic authors" list was made by a 20-year-old so I'm not going to link it or quote-dunk, but I think it's very telling that she draws no distinction whatsoever between the behavior of the authors and the fictional happenings of their novels.
The essential problem with Whedonesque dialogue is that it has no respect for wonder, terror, or mystery. It's rolling your eyes at the most profound visions of ecstasy and horror the universe has to offer.
I made the most successful author in the history of the world so mad she wrote a whole shitty book to cope with it.
TONY: Carmela my wife I am home from crime
CARMELA: Hello Tony my husband
TONY: I love you my wife
CARMELA: Marriage is a sacrament
TONY: Yes
Do you have any idea how much cum I've swallowed, you coward?
Quote Tweet
Two slices of pizza are equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
Replying to
"And Chapelle! My god, Chapelle. Embarrassing as only a true great can become in his declining years -- I speak here with complete self-awareness; kindly hold your barbs -- as he tires of innovation and falls back into the soporific cushion of the lowest common denominator!"
If you accuse artists of condoning or even DOING awful or uncomfortable things depicted in their art with no proof beyond that depiction and your reaction to it, you are an unsafe and destructive person who has not yet learned to navigate adult society.
Learning that the stupid Harry Potter game was produced by Nazi gamergater Troy Leavitt and includes at least one reference to the 1612 fettmilch pogrom... wow.
"Oh Game of Thrones isn't realistic because the dragons wouldn't really be able to fly" bitch the most popular shows in the world involve cops regularly solving crimes.
The bear that fights Jaime and Brienne on Game of Thrones would only perform if his handlers brought him frying pans full of whipped cream and everyone applauded while he ate them, which is very close to what I want out of life.
Quote Tweet
A campaign against transgender rights has mobilized the Republican Party. How did that happen? Listen to today's episode of The Daily.
nyti.ms/43sE3xM
switching the pronouns to stay straight when you cover a love song is the Coward's Way
Kept hearing someone on this beach shouting "crab master!" until I finally looked up and saw three little boys dropping crabs in a bucket in front of a six-month old before kneeling, bowing, and saying "crab master" reverently
I was held and loved as a child by arms tattooed at Auschwitz, and if I ever hear one word of denialism from anyone they'll be on a scavenger hunt for their teeth for the rest of their life
Channel Zero: Candle Cove has unquestionably the best monster design of the past decade. Maybe the past two.
I think about Debbie Jellinsky every day of my life.
Twitter is so amazing because the richest, most powerful people in the world who could be doing absolutely anything with their time CANNOT stop logging on and getting kicked in the balls
Apologizing to my cat after calling him "my little man." I know that in his world he is a regular-sized man.
Imagine being the most cringe and craven man alive, universally despised even by your own children, and then picking a fight with dril
The orcs in Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy are the high water mark for practical creature makeup and they haven't been equaled since.
You don't have to cling to opinions you didn't form yourself. You don't have to hate Fight Club or Catcher in the Rye or be scornful about the Beatles. It's insanely boring. I am trying to do you a favor.
my chupacabra don't
my chupacabra don't
my chupacabra don't want none unless you got goats, hon
Remember when Facebook told a massive, systematic lie about how popular videos hosted on its platform were compared to its text posts?
Replying to
You can't reason with these people. They are delighting in their own deranged bad faith shit. They're doing "stop hitting yourself" with murder.
if you experience extreme traumatic distress while reading fiction and cannot restrain yourself from venting those emotions at the fiction's creator, i have bad news for you about who in this scenario is an unsafe person who can't be trusted with grown-up art.
"Characters can't consent to you watching them have sex" yes and my fucking alarm clock can't consent to being set to blare RIDING DIRTY whenever I want it to. That is the nature of the inanimate.
This Tweet is unavailable.
"The McElroy brothers? Don't -- my god -- don't trouble me with that. Sexless fraternity dropouts failing their way upward with a string of projects one might charitably describe as a sort of 'Blue's Clues' aimed at a generation of young adults terrified of their own genitalia."
You want to see what cis solidarity with trans people means, this is it. I am so deeply moved by the depth of sacrifice on display here.
Quote Tweet
The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services is in a full-blown crisis.
Nearly 2,300 employees have quit, many citing Greg Abbott’s politicization of the office such as the investigation of parents of trans kids. houstonchronicle.com/news/legislatu
Rowling is remaking her books primarily or solely because so much of the original cast has come out against her gender nazi bullshit. It's a whole fucking exercise in laundering her public reputation, a big bet, and it is not going to fucking work.
Dr. Who is like "what if there were six million episodes of The Magic School Bus and adults were deadly serious about it"
by getting divorced Graham Linehan has finally succeeded in improving a cis woman's life
Replying to
I knew one of them would do this eventually, and I am so profoundly full of grief and rage right now
Never in my life thought I would defend the Dr. Who guy against criticism, but Matt Smith's weird face rules. Being weird-looking is a powerful tool for any actor, and only people who are Marvel-poisoned by movies full of sanded-down catalog models would say otherwise.
Saw the "I thought my partner was about to propose, but instead she came out as a trans woman" piece and all I have to say is that if you can write like that about someone you love, your love is rancid garbage she's better off without.
RIP Ray Stevenson, whose turn as Titus Pullo on ROME is one of the greatest effortlessly charming performances of TV's golden age. A warm guy, by all accounts, and a serious craftsman. He'll be sorely missed.
SHINJI REJECTED INSTRUMENTALITY! HE CHOSE THE UNBEARABLE PAIN OF ISOLATION OVER THE STULTIFYING EGO DEATH OF UNIFICATION WITH THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY!
always a fuckin bummer when an artist whose work you love starts making NFTs
Hey whoever sent the United States Secret Service to my apartment, thank you so fucking much.
A room full of chemically emaciated ghouls applauding a man they ostracized after his sexual assault by one of their own for playing a grotesque, pathetic fat man via prosthetics. It's disgusting. A disgusting spectacle in a disgusting industry.
it really blows my mind how many adults can't accept that we're all going to get old and die and lose people we love. "surely there must be a technological solution to--" no. shut up. we're chimps with an absolutely insane mental illness we've spent 200000 years giving ourselves.
Did you know Game of Thrones relied heavily on matte paintings to depict cities and landmarks? It's some of the best work in the medium in decades, overseen by painter Sven Saeur and environment designer Thilo Ewers.
The following media includes potentially sensitive content. Change settings
View
Amanda Palmer, a millionaire married to another millionaire, throwing a tantrum over not getting coverage in a specific magazine and making a less famous woman of a lower economic class the focus of it just defies any joke I could crack. She's a mean, small-minded idiot.
please...it has been such a long week. please do not cancel me for thinking baby Jabba the Hutt is cute.
If you want fiction to hold your hand and show you a world where nothing cosmically unfair ever happens, that's your prerogative. When you begin making accusations of low moral character at anyone who wants to create or experience more challenging art, that's a problem.
"A video game? These digital pastimes, the little plumbers crushing mushrooms and turtles and so forth underfoot? And it's inspired by the Rowling woman's drivel? Play it or don't, I'm not your pater familias, but the indignity of writing a thinkpiece on your blamelessness..."
I think Disney's practice of taking schlubby comedy guys and giving them millions of dollars to arduously transform themselves into muscle monsters so they can star in Disney movies is deeply creepy, like they're manufacturing purposefully toothless sex symbols.
The world's collective decision to ignore Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent in basically everything he starred in is a great illustration of how stories being good and stories making total sense are two completely different things
I think movies starring weird-looking people are quantifiably better than movies starring smooth, inoffensively attractive people. Every face and body is an opportunity to communicate with the audience, and not casting a weirdo is passing that opportunity up.
Me: (shyly) so...are you into roleplay?
Her: (kissing my shoulder softly) I'd try it with you, baby.
THREE HOURS LATER, ON A WINDSWEPT GLACIER
Me: Are we brothers, Francis? (voice breaking) I should like that very much.
Her: I don't-
Me: Honey, please stay in character.
Replying to
"My favorite what? Marvel movie? Have you got a favorite sawdust, Andrew?"







