I've seen some terrible Scottish accents doing the rounds as English and American folk try to make 'hilarious' Pokemon Sword and Shield memes. Yer man Scullion's decided to show you how Scottish Pokemon SHOULD be done (contains swearing, because Glasgow). Accept no imitations.
Follow
Click to Follow scully1888
Chris Scullion
@scully1888
Scottish games journalist for the past 17 years. Author. Features Editor and writer of gaming enyclopedias. Tired Old Hack. LGBTQ+ ally. Ex-ONM & CVG.
Chris Scullion’s Tweets
It's not a prank, that's deliberately malicious. They should be arrested for that.
I'm not being funny here but this is the worst music I've heard in a game for years #NintendoSwitch
UK public voted for Brexit "with their eyes wide open," says #TheresaMay.
Problem is those eyes were looking at a bus with bullshit on it
At least one of Brendan Fraser’s sons has killed Dracula in a Konami game
Here's something that will warm even the iciest heart.
Last year Sega wished Pac-Man a happy 40th birthday with art of Pac-Man being given a pair of Sonic's shoes.
Yesterday Bandai Namco wished Sonic a happy 30th birthday and HE'S WEARING THE SHOES
You are in charge of Nintendo (or Microsoft or Sony).
You decide to remaster three old games that have never been remastered before, updating them where necessary.
Their original publisher doesn't matter, nor do licensing issues (assume you have an infinite budget).
Name them.
You know, I wrote this story because I thought this was a positive, that Sonic Team isn't just sitting on a good reception and knows there's still progress to be made.
Should've expected that the internet would translate that to "OH SO I'M PAYING SIXTY SQUID FOR A DEMO"
Few years after Firestarter came out, 16-year-old me was sitting an exam.
Before it started, the woman handing out the papers said "I'm the invigilator."
Immediately, one pupil shouted in a perfect Keith Flint impression, "PUNKIN' INSTIGATOR".
My answer paper had tears on it.
Ugh.
The two recent Spider-Man movies had a deal which saw Disney/Marvel getting 5% of the initial gross (the rest going to Sony).
Disney tried to arrange a new 50/50 deal and Sony said "no chance".
So Marvel Studios will make no more Spider-Man movies
Fucking shameful by the Sydney Morning Herald. Acting like they were being generous by giving Rebel Wilson a 2-day deadline to come out before outing her themselves, then getting arsey because she called their bluff against her will. Never has been a more accurate username
I'm not sure what inviting a male escort to your hotel room will do about the Greggs situation
Someone's making a game based on the Super Mario Bros Super Show and I'm both delighted and disappointed to hear about it. Delighted because I want to play it, disappointed because now it's a known entity Nintendo will shut that shit down pronto kotaku.com/someone-is-mak
GIF
[Sora flies in]
"Awright everyone? How's it hangin?"
[sees Sephiroth]
"Aw for fuck"
It's going to be really awkward when it comes to The Super Mario Bros Movie 2 and Japan gets a totally new movie, whereas the west just gets Despicable Me 2 with the characters replaced
One of the greatest twists in video game history - when Donkey Kong on the Game Boy starts with the typical four Donkey Kong levels, then DK grabs Pauline and legs it to the real game, where a further 97 levels wait
No, it took Mr Beast's video 10 years and 7 weeks to make. Without Squid Games releasing in the first place he would never have had the idea.
I genuinely can't believe some large, established publications are promoting playing Metroid Dread on emulators TWO DAYS after its release.
This is piracy, plain and simple. And not the "hey, nobody's losing out" type that comes when you download the SNES version of Home Alone 2
A press briefing is two-way. A speech is one-way. There were no questions.
Don't worry, you'll figure it out one day.
Creative regression? There nothing less creative than putting a woman in skimpy clothing and letting her tits be the focal point. Making an appealing female character who isn't half-naked actually requires MORE creativity.
Xbox really making sure streamers are going to be catered for during its E3 show
To stress:
If you favour graphical detail above anything else, Pokémon Legends: Arceus is NOT for you.
Scenery can look basic at times, though it's still capable of looking pretty.
Game Freak seemingly (rightly IMO) prioritised trying to stabilise the frame rate.
My captures:
It's time! Back by popular demand, here's some more Scottish Pokémon. This is the story of Ash meeting Pikachu, but with a Scottish flavour.
(As before, don't watch this with kids: there's lots of swearing, because Glasgow)
Get your refund. This was a shambles. I feel for the staff who are going to have to keep working out of their skins to fix this shit, but when Kacinski said it ran "surprisingly well" on PS4 and Xbox One last month, that was a lie. You were lied to for your money: get it back.
Quote Tweet
read image description
ALT
I can't believe you're actually suggesting that you didn't plagiarise my FIFA 18 review for Nintendo Life, and claiming that plagiarising the Dead Cells review "wasn't intentional". You have completely failed to accept and understand what you've done.
BREAKING: Atari has acquired the Soulja Boy console in a deal estimated to be worth around $70
Following the news of Telltale's mass redundancies, it's as important as ever to remember that these are groups of people, not faceless game-making machines, and entitled whining about not getting to play something really isn't important when 200+ livelihoods are in jeopardy. t.co/Ec2f5PadCy
This Tweet is unavailable.
Come on, detectives. Don't forget you can search 'Tweets & Replies' too.
Just for info, I wrote this (for the Official Nintendo Magazine) and it was a joke tip, just in case anyone thinks it was the Pokémon Company being serious. It wasn't, it was me being silly
Mate, you wouldn't know a feminine woman if she looked at you like this
Fun fact: First-person shooters are available in hundreds of countries around the world. They aren't the cause, otherwise regular mass shootings would be happening worldwide.
Now that #MayweatherVsMcGregor is over, all we need to do is wait for Demi Lovato to finish singing the national anthem
Nintendo also sent over an excellent new piece of art, so I've resized it to desktop and mobile wallpaper sizes for you. Crop as needed ❤️
Annoyingly, many will think this is a response to all the pricks whining last week about the Raimi suit not being in the game. Even though this took time to make and will have been planned for a while, the message will be 'gamers' won and this pressure should happen more often
Quote Tweet
We have a special holiday gift for #SpiderManPS4 players. Today's game update will include a highly requested suit. Hint: It's webbed and it's FREE for owners of Marvel's Spider-Man!
As she explains in the fundraiser page, the money she's raised doesn't just go to growing the veg, but putting together "a large box that contains essentials plus enough food, fruit, vegetables, pasta, rice, breakfast etc for the amount of people in the household".
So... based on the reaction to this I'm thinking doing more in the future might be an idea
Never seen this photo of and Billy Connolly together before. My two favourite comedians, clearly enjoying each other’s company. What a wonderful pic.
Mine are:
• WWF No Mercy 20th Anniversary (with the option to play as the original 2000 roster or the modern 2020 one)
• Snatcher (entirely redrawn with full anime cutscenes)
• Ridge Racer Type 4 (with a remastered soundtrack and courses from other Ridge Racers included)
That last paragraph is the "oh, FUCK off" moment. Pretending they were being ethical after already confirming they were planning to out her. They're clearly fucked off that she ruined their 'scoop' and are amazingly pretending THEY'RE the victim. Absolutely shameless journalism.
Ooooh, you lovely little sod.
Konami's releasing three 'Anniversary Collections' on Switch, Xbox One, PS4 and Steam. They contain:
• 8 arcade games
• 8 Castlevania games
• 8 Contra games
Crossing my fingers the ReBirth games will be included, now that WiiWare is dead.
All these Troy Baker memes show that it must be possible to both hate AND create at the same time after all
I obviously don't approve of the death threats or anything like that, but that absolutely IS who he is, because that's literally what he did
Wow. It's true.
Resident Evil 4 (Switch) - £29.99
Resident Evil Zero (Switch) - £29.99
Resident Evil remake (Switch) - £29.99
Total - £89.97
Resident Evil Triple Pack (all of the above) (Xbox One) - £39.99
Fuuuuuuck offffffffff.
GIF
Best Switch feature nobody's mentioning is the great sleep suspend even in console mode. Less than 10 seconds from power on to gameplay
Does this guy have to catch the ball in his hands and punt the fucking thing like a rugby ball before Scotland's referees will use VAR properly?
Quote Tweet
Since this 'blew up', I've seen a lot of Americans and others saying they can't understand much of this video. That's how you know it's accurate 😉
Nevertheless, my lovely wife Louise, who's Canadian, has translated it for you, with all the enthusiasm such ignorance deserves 😛
Right. Trust me on this.
Pokémon Legends: Arceus is the best Pokémon game I've played in 20 years.
My full written and video review:
Sonic music (Star Light Zone) during the Olympics opening ceremony? Don't mind if I do
DID YOU KNOW that the first WarioWare game wasn't actually the 2003 GBA title, but a mini-game called Sound Bomber that was tucked away in Mario Artist: Polygon Studio on the 64DD three years earlier? Observe:
Despite IGN management (because I can't see the editorial staff doing this) seemingly bottling it with a "we support both sides" argument, the IGN Israel Facebook post saying "we support the Israel state and the IDF soldiers keeping us safe" is still up. Draw your own conclusions
"This is purely to do with where I'm from, the way I look"
Must be shite being bullied for that, eh twitter.com/sophielouisecc
This Tweet is unavailable.
Remember when Rayman Raving Rabbids looked like a 3D platformer at E3 2006, then came out six months later as a mini-game compilation?
I found the trailer on an old ONM-era HDD recently and decided to upscale it. Here's the game that never was.
(See also: prototype Wii Remote)
Every now and then (usually when a Switch gets a bad game) I see people talking about how the Nintendo Seal of Quality used to mean something.
For those who don't know, the Seal of Quality didn't mean the game was good, it just meant it would run on Nintendo hardware as intended
Holy shit, this is actually Silvio Berlusconi and not a robot version programmed to kill.
Fill your boots, Animal Crossers™
Today marks the 20th anniversary of Ocarina Of Time. The glory days.
The PlayStation Vita celebrates its 5th birthday in the west today. Happy birthday!
Snobbery about Media Studies: maybe if more people were educated at school level to identify reputable sources and determine when the press spins them to fit an underlying narrative, we wouldn't be in the state we're in now. Media Studies should be compulsory to all students 13+
Apparently WWE management are worried about Stu because he keeps talking about / trying to film his imaginary friend
Went to CeX at lunch to return something and saw a guy trading this in. Because it didn't have the video cable they were going to give him £40 for it.
"How much will you then sell it for?" I asked them.
"£100."
I turned to him. "I'll give you £60."
"Done."
It's a likely unfinished shot from a movie that's seven months away shown in a massively compressed YouTube video. Pace yourself
It's a bit rich of The Fine Bros to try to trademark React when they shamelessly stole from Young Frankenstein
Contrary to popular belief, the #Dreamcast doesn't turn 20 today (it hit Japan in '98). It is, though, the 20th anniversary of the most memorable US console launch date ever: 9/9/99. And any excuse to celebrate one of the greatest systems ever created is good enough for me. ❤️
"We don't tolerate harassment in the industry. Anyway, here's Ubisoft"
Teacher tries to put a Pokemon reference in a test to keep kids interested. It backfires.
I applied for my blue tick back in the ONM days because someone pretended to be me on a forum and 'leaked' some fake games, so I decided it was probably best to make my Twitter account legit.
But sure, my blue tick is the "corrupt" one, not the one any wee scrote can pay $8 for
[HUGE THREAD]
Right.
As promised, yer man has sifted through all 2,118 games in Nintendo UK's eShop sale, and filtered them down to 45 recommendations.
If this is any help, please share. The more people read and like it, the more I'll do in the future (this took ages, haha) ❤️
So... anyone know any good 3-player co-op games?
Asking for a (future) friend.
Hang on.
Got This Morning on in the background while working from home.
They've just started interviewing a girl who's fallen in love with her Tetris game and wants to marry it.
More to come.
[HUGE THREAD]
Right.
As promised, yer man has sifted through all 2,148 games on sale in the Nintendo UK eShop, and filtered them down to 40 recommendations.
If this is any help, please share. The more people read and like it, the more I'll do in the future (this took ages)
Say hello to Serena Jean Scullion, named after Louise's favourite character (Sailor Moon) and the middle name of her mum, who sadly never got to meet her. We've got a Player 3, and we're in love with her ❤️
Shame on all the entitled pricks giving you shit this week for 'ignoring' them.
Mega Drive Mini is out in September. 40 games, and it's being handled by M2 (who do the Sega Ages games) which means the emulation should be flawless for once. Sold.
Funny how video games exist in practically every other country outside of America, yet they don’t seem to have the same ‘influence’ anywhere else. This isn’t a video game problem, this is an America problem, and deflecting the blame isn’t going to fix it. Get rid of guns.
Quote Tweet
NEW: Fox News is now blaming video games for mass shootings like those in Buffalo and Laguna Woods, with a host saying that they’ve become “so realistic and so violent” that they’ve “de-sensitized” people to violence.
I know it ultimately wasn't very popular, but I maintain that the 3D effect in the 3DS was absolute fucking sorcery and one of the most impressive hardware tricks Nintendo's ever pulled off (especially when they made it better with face tracking in the New 3DS). Absolute magic.
This might be the worst action figure ever, so obviously I bought it
I'm all for emulation. When it comes to preserving this medium, it's essential.
But ethically, only when a system is officially dead and the company's no longer selling the games. Some haven't even had their pre-orders arrive yet and sites are telling you to download the ROM?
GIF
read image description
ALT
Sigh, I see Ali G is now trending for being a racist character, when the whole point of the character was to make fun of white people who tried to appropriate black culture.
When he said "is it because I is black," the joke was that he clearly wasn't. He was an idiot.
That's funny, he spoke shit then said "period" during his speech too. Must be a new thing.
I just...
No, not today. Life's too short to be arguing with actually, legitimately nonsensical statements.
That story about the German Grandia HD saying 'Fräulein' (Miss) instead of 'daneben' (miss) reminds me of an even better one.
If your game goes to penalties in Champions World Class Soccer on the SNES, the German version says 'scheissen' (shit) instead of 'schiessen' (shootout).
That's odd! Your tweet disappeared after people started threatening to report you to your commissioning editors. Don't worry, I can help!
Mum was going through some boxes in my old childhood bedroom and came across this, in perfect condition
Can't be in any way excited for Hogwarts Legacy when so many of my friends and followers are part of an innocent community constantly demeaned and vilified by She Who Shall Not Be Blamed. I solemnly swear that she is up to no good, so I'm not touching it with a 20-foot wand. Next
Holy shit. Just when you think we've reached the bottom of the barrel, the bottom falls out and you realise there's another barrel underneath it
