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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Aug 27

    I absolutely see now, how statistically, becoming a parent makes people more conservative. “What Happened After My Heart Surgery.” Full video on YouTube.

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  2. Sep 1

    To be clear, the ACTUAL Taliban permits “Allah-ordained” rape, torture and spousal abuse of women without due process. The “American Taliban” wants to limit the murders of baby girls in the womb.

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  3. Sep 1

    Good work! Almost as gay as your electric “Mustang.”

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  4. Sep 1

    Oh, you support vaccine mandates but oppose late term abortion bans under the guise of “my body, my choice!” Shut the hell up.

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  5. Sep 1

    Oh, you blame the unvaccinated? I blame the obese. Run the numbers.

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  6. Aug 25

    “Not Isis, not Al-Qaeda.” Per Biden, the most lethal threat is… New mixtape on my channel:

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  7. Aug 23
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  8. Aug 19
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  9. Aug 19

    Oh… so the actual Taliban is still allowed on Twitter?

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  10. Aug 18

    I may be out of commission. But the quickest man alive isn’t. Dave’s live shows these days are absolutely awesome.

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  11. Aug 16

    From a previous segment, Manny the Police Sketch Artist draws Michael Jackson. Full video on YouTube:

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  12. Aug 15

    But considering that they won’t even look remotely the same two weeks from now… Behold Magnus and Charlotte Crowder! … been shirtless so often lately (for the “skin on skin contact”) that I may consider running for Governor of Texas.

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  13. Aug 15

    Okay… so you guys get ONE post regarding the next generation of Crowders. Mrs. Crowder and I have agreed that our children will not be in the public eye until they’re old enough to make that decision their selves.

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  14. Aug 12

    What do you believe the 2nd amendment is for? "Debate Mixtape" on my channel:

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  15. Aug 11

    Tomorrow the next generation of Crowders meet the world. Due to the surgery it will be extremely painful to hold them, and if they are over 8lbs I will be breaking Doctor’s recommendations for recovery. Happily.

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  16. Aug 7

    Fearfully and wonderfully created, you are all intrinsically unique, strange animals. Embrace it.

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  17. Aug 5

    Didn’t want to post anything until I really turned a corner. RECOVERY… COMMENCE AT WARP SPEED!

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  18. Aug 4

    My recovery took a turn for the worse, here's the latest on my health. Much appreciation for all of your well wishes and prayers.

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  19. Jul 29
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  20. Jul 29

    Day Three: another liter makes a total of 5.5. I’ve lost 13 pounds in the span of a weekend. If you’ve never experienced abnormal complications as part of a surgery and you’re leaning one way or another…I’d recommend against.

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