Call it the "Sixteen Candles Effect." In the 80s: a sweet little comedy about a girl's first crush. Today: OH MY GOD the racism and sexism and date rapeyness. The movie hasn't changed, we have (I mean, hopefully). But it's worth noting that was an acceptable baseline then.
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Growing up, you look to your culture for what's acceptable to do and say. So a lot of us one way or another have done/said things we wouldn't now. It doesn't mitigate it, but it explains it, and we can admit and accept it's there, own it, and keep improving.
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If you believe you're someone who never did/said bigoted things: Great, but have you checked with others who knew you, especially those who were on the receiving end of ambient cultural bigotry? People I knew in the day reminded me of things I forgot. That was... a thing.
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Again, this is not to excuse things like blackface and overt racism -- never acceptable, always to be held to account. The point is, you don't have to go *that far* to have participated in bigotry, or to admit and account for it and to do better for yourself and others. /end
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Growing up in NYC in the 70s/80s, the boogeyman was always a big black man. Never anyone else. I had to unlearn that so hard. Dad is still a racist underneath, I'm sad to say.
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My 78 yr old mother is too. She just doesn't see how cringeworthy she can be.
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My mother was basically Archie Bunker in a dress, I know I grew up in a racist environment. I try to remain vigilant because I know the thoughts are there even though I don't believe in them.
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Truth.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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A lot of them grew up with overtly racist parents and grandparents. Simply refusing to embrace those views took courage.
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I'm not sure it takes courage. I simply can't imagine any other way. I've been pushing back since childhood, but it's not enough. There's also a selfish component. It makes me feel bad when others are mistreated. I'm frustrated when people pretend it isn't happening or excuse it.
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