MCV 30 Under 30 2021 
I feel like my whole life is this dance of being quiet because people won’t get me, slowly getting comfortable, eventually revealing my true self, then backing off again when once again the real me was Too Much.
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Both maybe? I get super, SUPER excitable and end up overshooting tone-wise, which often results in oversharing (so embarrassing after), making overly familiar jokes or going on unsolicited rants. I consistently misjudge my audience and fail to read the room.
Then I try to compensate by either totally shutting down or undershooting, which seems to make people feel awkward.
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I think a lot of that guarding/self-policing comes from the 'corrective' comments etc. as ND's grow up. I saw somewhere that ADHD kids receive 20,000x negative comments during childhood over positive - that must have a huge effect on the 'police' part of your brain (it does mine)
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‘Chatterbox’... ‘disruptive’... ‘in her own world’... (which of course later turned into people thinking I was stupid and wouldn’t do well/amount to anything)
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