MCV 30 Under 30 2021 
For some reason Impostor Syndrom is a trending topic - both for those who are feeling it more recently, and for those who don't get it at all How do you feel? Do you have it, if yes do you deal with it? And if not, what are your thoughts on it?
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I get it quite badly. Haven't really dealt with it. My whole life I was told from all sides that I wouldn't succeed, so the success I've had - and the relative ease with which I've had it (I was expecting to be where I am now in 15 years, not 4) - feels like a big mistake.
But hey, it complements up my deeply held belief that any nice comments I do receive are just bullshit intended to cheer me up and are completely invalidated by any criticism... in kind of a matching shoes, matching bag kinda way.
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(Pretend you didn't see that errant 'up'. It got lost on its way to a version of this tweet that used the phrase 'holds up'.)
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The result is that my mood is entirely dictated by the feedback I get from others, which probably reinforces my perceived problem by putting pressure on others to tell me nice things. Also puts a lot of strain on colleagues to reassure me when I ultimately respond with suspicion.
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oh — I so feel this sentiment really struggled in the school system, and it informed so much of my personal sense of self. Keep getting small reminders that maybe I'm qualified and know what I'm talking about, but it's been so tough mending that with my own personal doubts
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