MCV 30 Under 30 2021 
People with BPD, how would you describe a BPD episode? I always find it difficult to do so (made worse by the fact I forget most of what happened after) and I know everyone experiences it differently.
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I get the same — I can never truly empathise with my past self afterwards. For me I guess it’s like my head is inside this fish tank full of intense emotion; I’m drowning in it, I can’t see the rest of the world through it. Takes a LOT of emotional energy to resurface.
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I often find I’m harder on myself than I probably deserved because I’m not quite sure how bad I was. I totally get drowning in it, it’s exhausting.
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Yeah, I get that, too
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It’s really hard not to get dragged back in afterwards, too. But after it’s been a while, I’m always like “What? Nah, I’m fine! I don’t have a mental illness.” The next one always takes me by surprise with how severe and all encompassing and abnormal it feels.
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Oh god yes! Usually day to day other symptoms like anxiety and stuff are what trip me up so when the full blown emotion train hits me it’s horrifying.
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