Gonna get it out. There’s a person who I used to love with all my heart, to whom I gave *so* much. That person decided I was trash and threw me away because I told them *calmly and fairly* that certain behaviours were hurtful to me, and they didn’t like the criticism.
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Until this person grows strong enough to feel unthreatened by criticism and the suggestion of imperfection, they will never allow themselves to empathise with me, or with anyone else who has criticised them.
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So I guess I’m feeling powerless, vilified and worthlessly tossed aside, valued less than their personal pride.
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I will allow myself one mean tweet: Person, if you don’t want me to tell you I’m uncomfortable, maybe don’t spend the hours we’re meant to be spending together making me wait around while you grind up on dudes who aren’t your insecure boyfriend having anxiety attacks back home.
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Aaaaand maybe don’t put him on loudspeaker while he’s having said anxiety attacks, sobbing and literally pulling his own hair out, then lie and tell him he’s not on loudspeaker
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These are not the irrational thoughts I mentioned previously, mind. These are just (some of) the circumstances that have triggered them.
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MCV 30 Under 30 2021