Narrative Designer at @SumoDigitalLtd Notts 
MCV 30 Under 30 2021 She/her. This is a personal account and views expressed are mine alone.
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But today I went to see my dad’s parents knowing I would likely never do so again. I had to decide which words would be the last I would say. I had to decide which glance would be the last I would take before leaving the room. Which picture I would burn into my memory.
My grandma saw me crying. She gripped my hand, smiled, and said “Goodbye”. I don’t remember the last time I heard her speak, before that. Once, she would mumble, but even that doesn’t happen much now. But today she said goodbye.
My grandpa thinks he’s on a cruise. Today he asked me which port we were stopping at. I was happy. I passed people in that care home who clung to door frames crying “Help me”. But my grandpa thinks he’s on a cruise. There are worse things to believe.
I guess I thought saying goodbye on my own terms this time would be better. I didn’t anticipate the difficulty of standing there and choosing that last memory. Make me a kid again. Snatch that responsibility from my hands.
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