this is so uncomfortablepic.twitter.com/YrHos16Tqs
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Judge Smith is so fucking grumpy this morning I am EXCITED to see how he handles a case about a monkey selfie
either he's going to run out of steam before the last case (monkey selfie!) or he's going to flip the motherfucking table
Attorney: Good morning, justices Judge Bea: No, no, it's judges. Because there's NO JUSTICE in the NINTH CIRCUIT
Judge Smith: HAR HAR HAR LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE HEARD IT
*whole court laughs dutifully because they are circuit judges*
MONKEY SELFIE IS COMINGGGGGG
NARUTO V. SLATER IS ON, BITCHES
MON-KEY SELF-IE
Judge Bea very carefully enunciating Na-ru-to
Bea: How is there an allegation in the complaint that PETA is a qualified next friend?
Bea: No matter how committed and dedicated PETA is to animals in general...
Bea: our circuit law says you must allege facts which show a significant relationship.
Bea says only facts alleged in this vein is the relationship of primatologist Dr. Engelhardt who has studied Naruto since birth
But "Engelhardt, for reasons unknown, is no longer an appellant."
(The reason is that Engelhardt and PETA have had a falling-out.)
Unfortunately the caselaw that the 9th Cir is pointing to with respect to next-friend is litigation around... GITMO detainees argh
THIS IS VERY UNFORTUNATE
Why haven't the judges just cited Cetacean v. Bush already
Oh there we go. Smith now discussing Cetacean
9th Circuit precedent that has the most amazing shade in the factual background section: http://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-9th-circuit/1459189.html …pic.twitter.com/HDHOKWoVOh
HOLY SHIT
Bea just
Bea just asked if the entire Copyright Act has to be interpreted for this case... and then asks about copyright descending to children
"Are there legitimate and illegitimate children in the world of Na-ru-to?"
"Are Na-ru-to’s offspring children as defined in the statute?"
I'm crying
THEN. THEN. PETA's attorney says that marriage in the Copyright Act is originally intended to refer to marriage between man and a woman
But of course marriage is different now omfg
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