Lola is his mother and I don't know if he ever realized it.
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She was his neighbor's daughter. He liked the look of her. He needed someone to take care of the house, to take care of the children.
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My grandmother is dead. In her lifetime, other grandchildren tried to get her to tell her life story, but it was too painful to relive.
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Based on the bare facts alone, I know something was wrong with the relationship between my grandparents. I will never know everything.
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There is horrific exploitation embedded in the chains of our familial ties through centuries. No exceptions for any of us.
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For someone, somewhere down the line, our existence—our familial tie—is the basis and rationale for their grief
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We are poison to our own mothers.
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Does Tizon quite get there? Not really, kind of, maybe. But I got there after reading. That's why his article will linger with me.
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The coda to this is that I am no longer convinced that Tizon didn't realize Lola was his mother. I thought so this morning.
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I changed my mind because I found out that "Lola" means grandmother, and he doesn't say so in the article.
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He makes what I think is a purposeful omission. It's possible he knew and wanted readers to get there themselves.
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My bad, I'm being corrected-- Lola is an honorific and it's hard to translatehttps://twitter.com/sarahjeong/status/864710846219337728 …
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Final note, I am not erasing her status as a slave by calling her a wife, I am calling marriages (some today, all historically) enslavement.
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I found the frame of slavery problematic. It is slavery with a big S,but the small s slavery makes you think of black slavery.
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And I think what happens thru stories of Lola, many of our grandparents, is a different dynamic of power,which you have described so well.Tx
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My paternal grandmother was the third or fourth (can't remember which) wife of my grandfather and had a similar big age gap
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my great grandmother was married off at 16, she ran away the day after the wedding but her family forced her to go back
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my great-grandmother was a picture bride, met my great-grandfather for the first time in America in the 1910's
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Le chargement semble prendre du temps.
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