@mallelis he's rubbing his ears on my pillow and flailing around stupidly while my partner looks on in disgust
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I throw my bra and shirt to the side as far away as possible and catch him.
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My partner comes out of the bedroom. "Murphy pooped in his diaper," I say piteously. He goes back inside. I hear the door close.
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"Wait!" I call out. "Can... can you at least bring me some baby wipes?"
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So I wiped his fecal feathery tail and collected all his turds, with one eye looking out for any pee accidents.
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Anyways now I'm outside, trying to sell the dog to passersby
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no one bought the dog but using the knowledge I gleaned from Wikipedia last night, I decided to run in my flip flops and have the dog follow
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apparently King Charles spaniels are hunting dogs despite being toy dogs and the Duke of Marlborough reported they could keep up with horses
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so now the dog is tuckered out, which is nice, but probably won't prevent him from pooping his diaper again
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trash dog fucking loves running, though. he grins like a big old happy dummy the entire time
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I have to say, I cannot understand why Oaklanders feel the need to leave ant-ridden pieces of bread everywhere
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should I wake the dog up to change his diaps, I just changed them 30 mins ago but he needs a change again
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Wikipedia tells me this dog is 1 year past his life expectancy, which explains so much. Oh Murphy.
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he JUST had a long and vigorous walk but I think he forgotpic.twitter.com/WIxEumXDcm
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have you ever had a panting wall-eyed diaper dog follow you around everywhere you go
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I mean, it hasn't happened to me ever since I stopped going to bars in Boston
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The dog keeps eating the cat's food and the cat keeps eating the dog's food. The cycle of vengeance will never end.
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the dog has so much separation anxiety that if EITHER of us goes to the bathroom with the door closed he starts whimpering
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it matters not that there's still a person in the same room as him
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... the dog has learned how to pop his penis out of the top of the diaper. I'm in trouble. good thing Mallory's picking him up tomorrow
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Penis has been spotted. Fixed the diaper and did a sweep of the house. No accidents I can see, but we are at Threat Level Yellow
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Welp I stepped in it
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oh my god do you guys know that Belsomra ad with Sleep and Awake personified as dogs and cats
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He's barking at it
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god that ad was so long
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I thought this dog was kind of blind, how did a metaphorical dog on the television set him off
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Murphy was panting like a fool so we both starting panting and making snorty noises at him and he got embarrassed and stopped
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the cat was investigating Murphy's crate and then Murphy caught him halfway in there and now Jack is embarrassed
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so many embarrassed animals
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