why is my life a clowncarpic.twitter.com/GFdDoXJpRW
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first come first serve effective immediately
@aklingus -
it doesn't need to be a very good donut but please do not skimp on carpet cleaner
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it is not even noon and this dog has had two walks
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I will be dead before this weekend is out. please make sure my estate sues mallory ortberg
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it is now noon. there have been two walks and three accidents and my throat hurts and my ear has begun popping
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the idiot dog sleeps in my bed. if you think this is because I haven't made him sufficiently comfortable, you deserve to be covered in ants
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I have come to the conclusion that Glenn Greenwald probably isn't human
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