update:pic.twitter.com/fglrkm3Poh
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oooohhhh sarahhhhh how can you be so hardheartedddd I will sell you Mallory Ortberg's dog for a donut and a bottle of carpet cleaner
first come first serve effective immediately @aklingus
it doesn't need to be a very good donut but please do not skimp on carpet cleaner
it is not even noon and this dog has had two walks
I will be dead before this weekend is out. please make sure my estate sues mallory ortberg
it is now noon. there have been two walks and three accidents and my throat hurts and my ear has begun popping
the idiot dog sleeps in my bed. if you think this is because I haven't made him sufficiently comfortable, you deserve to be covered in ants
@sarahjeong @mallelis You look defeated.
@sarahjeong @mallelis my cat sat next to me while I watched all the Murphy videos & she purred smugly.
@sarahjeong @mallelis You're both sleeping in very similar positions too! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
what a good dog!
@sarahjeong @mallelis I'm looking forward to seeing how high the number of replies getspic.twitter.com/Fe5q6vmn5U
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