Mallory Ortberg's trash dogpic.twitter.com/dwbwgJ5jc6
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you can't even look me in the eye, muttface
he has a hard time jumping onto the couch so I put the step stool next to the couch and the idiot failbeast just tries to jump AROUND it
old sleepy dog that only need two walks a day LOL SURE MALLORY
his ear flopped inside out again. this dog can do nothing for himself
this needy fucking cretin is cuddling on the bed with me again. idiot.
he can't get on the bed on his own so he just scrabbles at the side and whines.
but also he can't get down from the bed on his own so if i get up and leave, he stands up and shuffles his feet aimlessly, stranded
THIS DUMB FUCKING DOG HAS SNOT IN HIS EYE
the dog wanted more water so he can piss everywhere
Oh, Murphy weekend! That whole thread was the best ever.
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