while i had flu the cat cuddled with me every day and slept in between my knees
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now he's pursued me to the other room even though all I want is to write in peace
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"you're an abominable trash dog" i whispered to him furiously
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he peed again so now i'm going to take him outside so he can get covered in ants. a monster
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i never appreciated how nice my cat smells until i agreed to take on Murphy the Trash Dog
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he's so wall-eyed i can't even tell when he's looking at me
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you can't even look me in the eye, muttface
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he has a hard time jumping onto the couch so I put the step stool next to the couch and the idiot failbeast just tries to jump AROUND it
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old sleepy dog that only need two walks a day LOL SURE MALLORY
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his ear flopped inside out again. this dog can do nothing for himself
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this needy fucking cretin is cuddling on the bed with me again. idiot.
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he can't get on the bed on his own so he just scrabbles at the side and whines.
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but also he can't get down from the bed on his own so if i get up and leave, he stands up and shuffles his feet aimlessly, stranded
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THIS DUMB FUCKING DOG HAS SNOT IN HIS EYE
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the dog wanted more water so he can piss everywhere
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