sarah jeong

A mugger who feels alienated from his labor

“We are equally complicit in the violence of capitalism,” he explained, sorrowfully swinging his brass knuckles

He ascribed to the labor theory of value, according greater worth to items taken from those he had given a more thorough beating

his best friend is a libertarian burglar

“This is just a private, decentralized property tax on the neighborhood,” he said in his blasé way

A comical chapter in which the libertarian burglar must re-break into a house to recover his fedora

“Well, if you let The State in, why not me?” he asks indignantly

They both fall in love with a beautiful neoliberal Keynesian economist

Hilarious hijinks as their friendship is tested by the unexpected love triangle

A heartwarming scene where the main character proposes to her while mugging her

She refuses, because marriage is a relationship that violates the principles of free trade

Halfway through the book the characters settle into an uneasy polyamorous triangle that can’t agree on how to handle common “property”

“You’re masking oppression in the guise of economic efficiency,” the mugger said glumly. “Shut up and do the dishes,” she said

The break-up: “I’m… I’m afraid you’re just deadweight loss on this relationship. There’s only one way to solve this free rider problem.”

“THIS IS SO BOURGEOIS OF YOU,” the mugger cried,as his friend screamed next to him, “YOU’RE WORSE THAN THE STATE!” But the door stayed shut.

you know it’s *literary* if it ends with a break-up and a man brooding

If it’s a double break-up and there are two men brooding, that’s an auto-Pulitzer, right?