Sarah CooperOvjeren akaunt

@sarahcpr

writer / comedian / / wrote 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings & How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings

Brooklyn, NY
Vrijeme pridruživanja: svibanj 2008.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    29. sij

    These impeachment hearings are like if Sesame Street was trying to figure out if Cookie Monster ate all the cookies

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    Honestly both iconic

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    At Starbucks, writing your name on a cup and calling it out is a symbol of our warm welcome. Starbucks welcomes you, whoever you are. Find out more at

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    1. velj

    Ghosting sucks... and it gets even MORE annoying when the person still watches your Instagram stories. 😒I wrote about this crappy by-product of modern dating for !

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    prije 4 sata
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    Left Breast comedy hour hosted by and 1st Monday of each month at Tonight with Chloe McGovern & Courtney Bledsoe

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    The app is called “You’re Cancelled.” When you’ve made plans that you wish you could cancel, you go into the app and press a little button. If the other person presses theirs too, congratulations! Confetti exploded and your plans are cancelled.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    Joaquin Phoenix accepts his Leading Actor award for his performance in

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  9. Mike Bloomberg’s commercials are so effective in making me want to vote for Elizabeth Warren

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  10. Shakira here to remind me that I abandoned my New Years resolution to get in shape

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  11. Why can’t this guy remember stuff about his wife

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  12. 2. velj

    At least at the Trump Bloomberg debate the candidates won’t be judged on the size of their dicks but on the size of their boxes

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  13. 2. velj

    Happy I assume this is how you celebrate

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    2. velj

    I've been going through a lot & been feeling really lonely bc my mom and I got in a fight so I feel like I can't call her & my dad has been really busy and I just broke down on the phone to him and in the middle of me crying he yells "I'll have a vanilla shake! ...I'm at Cookout"

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    2. velj

    6.7MM jobs created since took office. 8MM jobs were created during ’s last 3yrs See below 👇 claims created 15mm jobs The Ivanka claim is a LIE The truth is less than the last admin (despite corp tax cuts)

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    2. velj

    This is how America works now. The entire government is constantly derailed by the ravings of an angry child.

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  17. 1. velj

    Someone asked me how I have time to take 3 naps a day and it’s simple, I just shoot for 6

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    This is right. I walked Anna to school most days. And now that she’s out of the house at college, I am certain of what I guessed then: those walks were irreplaceable moments of connection, love, laughs. And they sustain me now. Me. Not her. Maybe her a little too I hope.

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    I was just trying to learn more about you and I did not mean to offend. My sister’s friend was from the Middle East or Saudi and he was a great person, his name was Omar I think, do you know him? I feel so bad, anyway, thank you for this teaching moment Mohamed.

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  20. 1. velj

    Do you think the devil is vegan? On the one hand, he probably eats everything in sight. On the other hand, vegans are super annoying and you feeel like you’re in hell when you’re talking to them so I don’t know

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  21. 1. velj

    What does OTP mean to you

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