sarahaswell

@sarahaswell

humor writer |

missoula, montana
sarahaswell.com
Joined May 2008
38 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

You blocked @sarahaswell

Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @sarahaswell

  1. Pinned Tweet
    Apr 11

    I wrote about a knife that falls in love for .

    4 replies 17 retweets 49 likes
    Undo
  2. Retweeted
    Jun 6

    hi! after complaining w/ friends for like, years about not being motivated to sit down and write jokes, I put together a workbook for us, and for you too if that's something you're looking for. 3 months and you've got a full packet:

    3 replies 12 retweets 67 likes
    Undo
  3. Retweeted
    Jun 6

    You can't have the best comedy coverage without Mindy Tucker involved. Thanks to for digging into your archives for us for this, and thanks to for collecting some solid advice!

    1 reply 17 retweets 73 likes
    Undo
  4. Retweeted
    Jun 5

    Apple has launched Group FaceTime, so now you can accidentally FaceTime up to 32 of your exes instead of just one.

    5 replies 22 retweets 79 likes
    Undo
  5. Jun 5

    Type "progressives" and then hit your predictive text button 30 times! So hilarious!

    Progressives are shooting themselves in the foot more frequently than a centipede who quite frankly is "getting no relief whatsoever" from a topical application of a generic anti-fungal toenail cream.
    5 replies 2 retweets 40 likes
    Undo
  6. Retweeted
    Jun 5

    For ’s Size Conversation, I wrote about the scam of media-friendly body positivity and why simply telling people to love themselves purposefully ignores every actual problem with how we treat those who have noncompliant bodies

    70 replies 597 retweets 2,022 likes
    Show this thread
    Show this thread
    Undo
  7. Jun 2

    My husband wrote this absolutely fascinating story about the history of bare knuckle boxing.

    The history of bare-knuckle boxing is an interesting one, and a lot of it makes you think that some parts of the fight game just never change.
    1 reply 4 retweets 27 likes
    Undo
  8. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    I try all things; I achieve what I can.

    6 replies 194 retweets 486 likes
    Undo
  9. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    We’ll be considering pardons for readers all day here at MAD Magazine. What do you need a pardon for?

    115 replies 32 retweets 189 likes
    Undo
  10. May 31

    Kansas City Chiefs offensive lineman Laurent Duvernay-Tardif has graduated from medical school. No word on whether the NFL will allow him to heal during the National Anthem.

    1 reply 1 retweet 10 likes
    Undo
  11. Retweeted
    May 29

    At the exact moment that we are typing this tweet, the North Korea Summit is back on. For more accurate, up-to-date information, please refresh your Twitter feed now. And then refresh it again.

    2 replies 20 retweets 118 likes
    Undo
  12. May 24

    For the , I wrote about when and why we fall in love with music (and why I love ).

    1 retweet 1 like
    Undo
  13. Retweeted
    May 21

    My 73-year-old aunt wrote a poem about my pronouns in her church writing group and it’s the sweetest thing

    503 replies 24,322 retweets 106,485 likes
    Show this thread
    Show this thread
    Undo
  14. May 18

    Tune in to the CME's Movie Night tonight, where I'll be watching Scorched Earth alongside and . First piece of movie trivia: I've been using the DVD box as a coaster for the last two weeks.

    5 replies 2 retweets 35 likes
    Undo
  15. Retweeted
    May 17

    U.S. Surgeon General Jerome M. Adams jumped into action during a medical emergency on a Delta flight. For your health, the Surgeon General recommends always flying with the Surgeon General.

    1 reply 16 retweets 59 likes
    Undo
  16. Retweeted
    May 17

    I wrote about a) the "us against the offended hordes" trope that's become a cliche in comic-on-comic interviews and b) how Tina Fey rejected that brand of camaraderie with David Letterman--just as Rachel Bloom did with Marc Maron.

    44 replies 256 retweets 1,124 likes
    Show this thread
    Show this thread
    Undo
  17. May 17

    Republican Senator Jeff Flake has announced he will not vote to confirm Gina Haspel as CIA director. Haspel responded by saying, “Okay, but what if I twist your arm?”

    1 reply 7 retweets 34 likes
    Undo
  18. May 16

    The craziest thing about Yanny and Laurel is that’s what I named my breasts several years ago.

    3 replies 32 likes
    Undo
  19. Retweeted
    May 15

    You know, is right when she writes that any dating profile should include the picture with .

    1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
    Undo
  20. May 13

    I wrote about the perfect Mother’s Day for .

    1 reply 6 retweets 19 likes
    Undo
  21. Retweeted
    May 10

    Honestly I think about this excerpt from a article at least once a day

    33 replies 1,707 retweets 8,040 likes
    Undo

@sarahaswell hasn't Tweeted yet.

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

    You may also like

    ·