Generalisation is not fair. At times, we get so used to be 'in pain' that we start to celebrate pain. Pain is celebration to us. And, celebration is pain to us. 
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Black men think that Black women (or whoever they get romantically and sexually attracted to) are where they will get healing. They love that free emotional labour that Black women give, frankly they are addicted to it, and think they are entitled to it.
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