sarafcarter

@sarafcarter

Editor in Chief . Host . Fka Sgt. Olivia Betchson.

New York, NY
Vrijeme pridruživanja: srpanj 2018.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    27. sij

    After completing my free one-month trial of 2020, I wish to cancel my subscription

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 22 sata

    Me on Sunday: this week I’m going to go to the gym every day, be zero waste, write a novel, learn to garden, and overcome my family’s generational trauma Me on Monday: actually I’m sick...

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  3. prije 16 sati

    That’s it, next time I go on a date I’m pulling background checks, calling references, and asking for at least 2 separate letters of recommendation.

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  4. prije 16 sati

    I’m tired of making small talk to get to know each other on dates. Let’s just stalk each other’s social media for 4 days and meet up to discuss our findings.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    It’s the funniest tweet ever

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata
    Odgovor korisnicima

    This is why I hate Twitter. This tweet should have millions of rt’s and should be read aloud on and all major morning programs

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Can’t wait for the shakira jlo halftime at the Oscars next week

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Every single person on Google rn: What is J Lo and Shakiras anti aging routine

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  9. 3. velj

    “JLo’s body is unfair,” I say as I take a swig from my 3rd White Claw and shovel more cheese dip into my mouth

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  10. 2. velj

    Only team I’m rooting for during the Super Bowl is my liver + my digestive system

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    Love that strategy!!!

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    today is the day fellas. our day. the super bowl. ignore your mom’s calls. use your girlfriends expensive purple shampoo. use her salt scrub on your ass. throw a bath bomb in the toilet for fucks sake. do as you please

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  13. 2. velj

    TG for the Super Bowl so when I show up hungover at work on Monday I can blame it on football as opposed to my usual brunch & lack of impulse control

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  14. 2. velj

    Pretending to be on keto today so I can eat only cheese and pepperoni and not feel bad about it

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    I thought I did so well with not personally victimizing people last night on Snapchat until I realized I slide into insta DM’s to tell her that someone brought Merlot to a party and telling her that they’re a Serial Killer. Excuse me while I dig myself a hole.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Everything is terrible except this video.

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  17. 2. velj

    Going to the grocery store on Super Bowl Sunday is a real-life hunger games

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj
    Odgovor korisnicima

    Additional free trials for 2020 will not be available for another 334 days and end-of-life'ed products (such as 2019) are not eligible for this program.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Or maybe someone could take the 2020 simulation cartridge out of the machine, blow on it, and put it back in the machine?

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    my toxic trait is that, no matter what, I am always in the mood for a bagel

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj
    Odgovor korisnicima

    Can we please cancel 2020 because it is NOT boding well so far!

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