Sam Weinig

@samweinig

Lacking an even keel. Promoting a healthy amount of stop energy since early 2007.

Vrijeme pridruživanja: ožujak 2009.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    At the intermission of musicals there should be a very short football game

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    everyone asking questions about things like the rules of "physics" and "mortality" truly does not understand the Fast and the Furious franchise, or what makes it so special and beautiful

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    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    as someone who grew up in an idyllically quaint English village, those people fucking love the goose. The goose gives them meaning and drama without conflict with their neighbors. They need the goose

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. svi 2019.

    JUDGE: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand? MARIO: JUDGE: it’s a fine MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not

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    Really think this is the year that I’m finally gonna win the New Yorker caption contest

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    Today we announced a formal policy ending the use of money bail by our prosecutors as a condition for pretrial detention. From this point forward, pretrial detention will be based on public safety, not on wealth.

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    “I know you don’t want to report about this. I know you don’t want to talk about this. But I assure you I will continue to repeat these numbers until you do.”

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    20. sij

    Shouldn't it be Bad Boys 3 Life?

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    OKAY. The Princess Bride. Super well known and beloved film, and I have absolutely no idea what it's about. Now I did initially think it was the one (also not seen) where the lady comes down on a meteor or something but apparently not so, and I think I also got it- 1/

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. sij

    kid, when life gets you down you got three choices

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij
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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    DISNEY: We hate your name. We’re changing it. 20th CENTURY FOX: Well, you’re the boss. And if we’re honest, it does seem dated. We just never had the guts to rip off the band-aid. So ok: new name, new century. DISNEY: You’re 20th Century Studios now. 20th CENTURY FOX: the fuck

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. sij

    ❌Write thank you cards ❌Get started on taxes ✅Change the lyrics to "Don't You (Forget About Me)" to "Eat Soup (And Then Spaghetti)"

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    There should be a reality competition show to find the new pre-recorded MTA subway announcer. I think I would love that.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. sij
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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. sij

    it is my belief that rhinos and hippos are husband and wife

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. sij

    I think most people who win awards should thank Lisa Kudrow for The Comeback

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. kol 2018.

    pretending I am a dragon. not like, outwardly. just for me.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    A 90s Disney exec reclines with his feet on the conference table. He takes a few puffs from his cigar. "Goofy should have a dead wife."

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