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  1. Retweeted
    May 28

    In Soviet Russia… (sorry not sorry)

  2. Retweeted
    Apr 15

    Do not kid yourself for one minute about their true intentions. Keep your head on a swivel and get through this weekend.

  3. 25 Nov 2016
  4. 9 Nov 2016
  5. Retweeted
    22 Aug 2016

    That feeling when you see many normal sized hands and want to strike them down in jealousy and anger

  6. 23 Oct 2015

    Hey I can't export my survey responses! It's just been loading for about two hours, very annoying

  7. Retweeted
    1 Aug 2015

    Our second scene is high quality, affordable electric guitar for all Americans.

  8. Retweeted
    1 Aug 2015

    Rivers of guacamoles run down mine eyes, because they keep not broccoli law.

  9. Retweeted
    18 Oct 2014

    "Oscar Pistorius!"

  10. Retweeted
    29 Aug 2014

    Draculas come in all walks of life: bakers, secretaries, umpires, whatever.

  11. 1 Jun 2014

    Hey @MetLifeBlimp, what are you doing above Long Island today?

  12. 26 Mar 2014

    "Talk about the nebulous quality of your title responsibilities"

  13. 29 Dec 2013

    For Whom the Bell Tollhouse

  14. 29 Dec 2013

    Tropic of Candycorn

  15. 12 Oct 2013
  16. 12 Oct 2013
  17. 12 Oct 2013
  18. 12 Oct 2013

    12 feet of zicherman bros

  19. 12 Oct 2013
  20. 23 Mar 2010

    Thanks Shaq, that's rad. I mean, really deep. I mean, inspirational. I mean, something. BTW, hello Twitter.

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