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samlymatters's profile
Samantha Ruddy
Samantha Ruddy
Samantha Ruddy
Verified account
@samlymatters

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Samantha RuddyVerified account

@samlymatters

I write jokes and make sure to call my grandma every couple weeks

Queens, NY
open.spotify.com/album/3bC8Gbnv…
Joined May 2009

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    Samantha Ruddy‏Verified account @samlymatters 13 Jun 2019

    *sees somebody on twitter who is more successful than me* I gotta get off this website *switches to Instagram and sees someone hotter than me* Man, fuck this app *goes on Facebook and sees a guy I went to middle school with is in jail for murder* There we go

    11:22 AM - 13 Jun 2019
    • 23,815 Retweets
    • 181,876 Likes
    • andrianna tobi. Greg David Weiss Scott Shanna Ivana Perkovic chris 🎉 Gary Crosby
    224 replies 23,815 retweets 181,876 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Samantha Ruddy‏Verified account @samlymatters 14 Jun 2019

        My SoundCloud got banned for nudity so just watch my standup set on the late show with Colberthttps://youtube.com/watch?v=XmCSW1YAGb0 …

        11 replies 13 retweets 389 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Samantha Ruddy‏Verified account @samlymatters 14 Jun 2019

        Oh and if you’re in the DC area come see me do standup at @DrafthouseDC on June 28th and 29th! https://drafthousecomedy.com/event.cfm?cart&id=526571 …

        3 replies 12 retweets 175 likes
        Show this thread
      4. End of conversation
      1. Elisabeth M.‏ @Elisabeth9555 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters

        Lmao

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Elisabeth M.‏ @Elisabeth9555 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters

        Why you no perform at Queer Girl Shenanigans? I gotta see you live, not just twitter/YouTube :/

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Meats Loafing‏ @ScottBarrComedy 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters

        I challenge the fact there is anyone hotter on Instagram 😉

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dsz‏ @DemoszBold 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters @_BMW_750LI

        I feel attacked

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Brock Rizy‏ @BEEow 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters

        And people wonder why so many of us are still on Facebook.

        3 replies 0 retweets 232 likes
      3. insufficient clarence‏ @or_vice_versace 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @BEEow @samlymatters

        That 100% raw, unfiltered schadenfreude

        2 replies 2 retweets 104 likes
      4. Show replies
      1. Greg Schaefer‏ @TheGregSchaefer 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters

        pic.twitter.com/Ob2DZmcoSA

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Jake Stone‏ @jws4220 13 Jun 2019
        Replying to @samlymatters

        *heads back to twitter to post about it* And the vicious cycle continues

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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