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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    9. pro 2019.

    If you use the expression “lady-friend” I’m going to assume you’ve had “intimate dinner parties” and know how to Foxtrot

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  2. prije 2 sata

    Sliced my finger open right in the middle of an observation: S**t happens!

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    I only followed you back for your dog.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    Post Malone suggests the existence of a Pre Malone.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 8 sati

    (car shopping w/ teenage son) Me: What do you think about this one? Son: Well...I was kinda looking for leather seats. Me: Leather seats??? You’re lucky it has seats.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Your dreams turn into reality when passion overtakes fear.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    I'll be 50 in a few years. I can't wait to grow into my Super Bowl halftime show body.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    I avoid answering direct questions by saying I thought it was rhetorical

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I'm like a pessimistic optimist. I know I can succeed, but I doubt it.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 21 sat

    I can't get over the way some of you compose Tweets, they're beautiful.

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  11. prije 9 sati

    Not getting enough likes and retweets? Have you tried turning your WiFi off and then on again?

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    my sister: why do you delete so many tweets? me: sometimes you don't know something's really stupid until you send it out into the world my mother: *staring at me just a beat too long*

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  13. prije 9 sati

    Don’t tell me I’m not badasss...I once liked ALL the replies to a tweet, but NOT the actual tweet. I’m still overwhelmed by it

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 17 sati

    I don't know anything about hockey, but I can fight. Send me some skates.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I remember always feeling guilty as a kid for listening to Charlie Daniels the “Devil went down to Georgia” like I was going to summon him and I wouldn’t know how to play the fiddle.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 21 sat

    Person: *wearing cargo shorts* Kangaroo: that guy must have a lot of babies.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    I will buy damn near anything as long as it comes with a remote

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Stop saying no response Is a response You’re not Confucius

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    A barista But for fried chicken

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    It’s like these gym people don’t know I’m only working out to seek vengeance

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  21. prije 20 sati

    Thank you so much to the anonymous, beautiful person who donated these:

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