It’s actually *good*, all else equal, to do things because they’re convenient or fun or get positive attention or satisfy one’s physical desires. You wouldn’t want people to *not* do that, right?
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This kind of “emphasis on mocking the motive rather than condemning the action” is how you incentivize “just following orders” excuses. “I didn’t do anything REALLY bad like WANTING to do a thing! I just killed people disinterestedly!”
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Or, more innocently, things like me trying to find a “legitimate excuse” to suggest breaking for lunch, less embarrassing than “I’m hungry”. This still causes needless miscommunication.
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Attacking people for having universal human motives is bad in the same way as passing laws that make everyone technically guilty of a crime. You can always selectively attack your enemies.
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I really hate the new slang term “cope” for this reason. Oh noez, people do things to make themselves feel better! I caught this fucker *regulating his emotions!*
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Replying to @s_r_constantin
I think you’re seriously misunderstanding the function of this move. The point is to discredit a movement or person *as* toxic because they have an unmet need or ego agenda that is driving them to make some insistent culture-shaping demands.
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
“We have the same needs as you and we don’t go around causing trouble, get in line.”
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
For example, the guys going around saying don’t lean into your girlfriend are obviously masculinity cope, but they are offensive, not neutral or defensive actors. You can feel pity or compassion for them, knowing the motive, but you still need them to shut up.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin
It’s a defensive move within the toxic masculinity game, but offensive in the wider culture because it’s playing into a “girls want relationships *from* boys” dynamic that exacerbates power imbalances in dating.
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