I really hate the new slang term “cope” for this reason. Oh noez, people do things to make themselves feel better! I caught this fucker *regulating his emotions!*
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Replying to @s_r_constantin
I think you’re seriously misunderstanding the function of this move. The point is to discredit a movement or person *as* toxic because they have an unmet need or ego agenda that is driving them to make some insistent culture-shaping demands.
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
“We have the same needs as you and we don’t go around causing trouble, get in line.”
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
For example, the guys going around saying don’t lean into your girlfriend are obviously masculinity cope, but they are offensive, not neutral or defensive actors. You can feel pity or compassion for them, knowing the motive, but you still need them to shut up.
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
It’s also probably best for *them* to let them know that they’re transparent and embarrassing. It is very important to let people know when they’re doing something socially dumb.
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
Obviously if there are Puritan aspects to the culture, then those mechanisms will look anti-pleasure to the literally-minded or people who take culture at face value and never learn how to get their needs met in the “normal” ways.
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
Basically you impose externalities on people by letting your “crazy” show, even as there is an implicit understanding that everybody is a little bit crazy/needful, because there are standard, low-effort ways of handling these things and people ain’t got time for special treatment
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
In that reading, being a “special snowflake” is a form of bullying or at least extortion: it’s a perversion of the expectation to be given some allowance or other on account of a universal need even if the allowance is really socially expensive
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
People who don’t get the need for cultural cohesion and the maintenance of norms are baffled by this and, of course, feel bullied because all they want is to do their own thing, how is that harmful? But we live in a society...
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Replying to @kaburicrab @s_r_constantin
Anyway, ultimately the goal is to be emotionally self-sufficient so as not to have to fight with communal understandings of what you’re owed, which is a huge headache for everyone and thus strongly disincentivized.
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Hm, thank you, this is food for thought.
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