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s_r_constantin's profile
Sarah Constantin
Sarah Constantin
Sarah Constantin
@s_r_constantin

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Sarah Constantin

@s_r_constantin

Math/ML/data-science person now working on solving aging...and helping with COVID19?! Founder, LRI and Daphnia Labs. Married to @oscredwin

Be
srconstantin.posthaven.com
Joined February 2019

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    1. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      This is why people can sometimes see criticism/feedback as an attack. Literally *all* criticism, if untranslated, is a commandment to do the literally impossible.

      1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
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    2. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      But why would you ever fail to translate feedback? Most people, if they ask you to take out the garbage, don’t mean to say “do it literally instantaneously in a physically impossible fashion.” So why get defensive as *if* they meant that?

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    3. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      One hypothesis: we have bad memories of people who expected obedience faster than we literally could obey at the time, or of demands that were literally impossible to fulfill even *after* simulating them.

      1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
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    4. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      I usually use religious commandments as what feel like clear cut examples of instructions that are definitely impossible to obey and yet intended to be obeyed; but other people claim that’s not true, so I’m not sure.

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    5. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      I’m very confident that the Talmud (which i’m trying to learn cover to cover) describes behaviors as admirable which would be impossible or unwise to attempt (like sleeping 0 hours per night)

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    6. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      Anyhow, I’m inclined to believe that there are, or have been, *any* people who demand the impossible, and actually meant that, not something more reasonable.

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    7. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      But okay, if there *are* people who ask the impossible or unreasonable, why should that cause suffering? Why not just reject all impossible demands?

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    8. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      To explain this, I have to posit some inherent limitation in what thoughts are possible, and that makes my model more complicated & so less credible, for occam’s razor reasons. Hmm. I’m stuck.

      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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    9. Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      “Some people demand the impossible” should lead to the update “demanding the impossible is a thing people sometimes do”, but I don’t see why it overcorrects to “all feedback should be interpreted as a demand to do the impossible.”

      4 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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    10. Mike Elias  💡 📈‏ @harmonylion1 Feb 4
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      Replying to @s_r_constantin

      They’re not receiving it as an instruction, they’re receiving it as an insult. Computation is the wrong metaphor, it’s more like emotional allergies, which people have in different directions in order to mediate between different strengths. Example from politics:pic.twitter.com/C176wxmWaX

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Sarah Constantin‏ @s_r_constantin Feb 4
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      Replying to @harmonylion1

      That's a description of what it *looks* like, on a coarser level. I'm trying to go more mechanistic, more micro-foundations-y, and ask "WHY do some people sometimes receive criticism as insult?" "Because they have [character flaw]" is a label, not an answer to the why question.

      1:14 PM - 4 Feb 2020
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      • Mike Elias 💡📈
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        1. New conversation
        2. Mike Elias  💡 📈‏ @harmonylion1 Feb 4
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          Replying to @s_r_constantin

          1/ I appreciate that distinction! Mere labeling is indeed useless. Seems to be the same reason people flinch when you pretend you’re about to punch them.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Mike Elias  💡 📈‏ @harmonylion1 Feb 4
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          Replying to @harmonylion1 @s_r_constantin

          2/2 The difference to flinch is it’s a reflex of physical survival, whereas to take offense is a reflex of psychological survival (ego defense), and these so differences are reflected in different approaches to psychological survival. The diagram just e.g.’s “diff approaches”

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