if you know that someone is - kind - not an asshole - responds well to criticism / feedback - doesn't take things personally - doesn't get mad - cares about being equitable - shows up you can pretty confidently refer them around even if they aren't necessarily A+++ performers
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I used to hire freelance writers in my previous role, and it's interesting to reflect on who my favorite writers were, who I would refer to others. it wasn't necessarily the "best" writers. It was those who "I could work with", those who didn't waste my time
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I actually didn't really mind average-ish writing – I can help with that. I can challenge you to be better. But what I can't deal with is if *you* can't deal with being challenged. I actually didn't even really mind flaky writers who disappeared on me. Comes with the territory
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the worst case outcome isn't a writer who's average-ish, or a writer who ghosts me. the worst case is a writer who takes criticism too personally, and ends up playing this tedious, drawn-out edit-war game where we both just get tired and frustrated & nobody's happy
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I think this is true for everything! it's true for dates, it's true for colleagues, true for friends if it isn't a good fit, being able to mutually acknowledge it and move on is actually a good sign. you might even consider referring that person in a different context
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I used to be a much more disagreeable person as a kid, arguing for sport & lulz on retrospect I'm surprised I only lost a handful of friends. I think I did have a kindness under the abrasiveness but... why be abrasive at all? it makes your friends nervous & secretive around you
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Replying to @visakanv
Most of my friends are outspoken and a bit abrasive. I find that a stressful interaction style but clearly if I gravitate to those people I must like something about them. I think I’m drawn to people who have interesting things to say, and that goes with a certain edginess.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
If I go to a room full of strangers and try to socialize, the easiest person for me to befriend is the slightly hyper guy (and it’s usually a guy) who’s holding forth on something he’s passionate about. There’s an obvious way to connect to him.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
And a really common pattern in that guy is being *really* exercised about how everyone is doing it WRONG. Even I find it easy to monologue engagingly about “you have NO IDEA how fucked this industry is, you sweet summer child. Let me tell you my hilarious horror stories.”
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
(There’s a female style of this I like a lot too: Evelyn Deavor from Incredibles 2. Funny, urbane, cynical, brilliant woman with a drink in her hand, bitching about how dumb They are, and how much cooler We in this conversation are. I know a few people like this & they’re great.)
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I wish I knew more, tbh. Know any cool outspoken women? We tend to be lonely for each other’s company.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin
cool women I think you'd like:
@iiiitsandrea@jelenajansson@vboykis@lisamahapatra@amyhoy@regancodes@_TamaraWinter@TheAnnaGat@anthilemoon@sehurlburt@Madisonkanna@singareddynm@liminal_warmth@starsandrobots@startuployalist@arlery@mesolude@tracyktownsend@spacecrone7 replies 2 retweets 26 likes -
Replying to @visakanv
Visakan Veerasamy Retweeted Visakan Veerasamy
Visakan Veerasamy added,
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