Back to judging people; I believe doing bad things is common. “So and so has this common character flaw” is not an extraordinary claim requiring extraordinary evidence.
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We get stuck in semantic debates of “is it really fair to use words to describe people that have negative connotations when the people in question aren’t *that* bad?”
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Trouble is, I don’t think we *have* great words to describe problems that don’t have a judgmental or condemnatory connotation.
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“Liar” is an insult and accusation; but lots of people really do stretch and spin the truth; arguing over whether it’s fair to name someone a liar is kind of a distraction from “what is this person saying, what does he believe, what do his listeners believe...
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what’s actually true, and what impact does it have that these things are different?”
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In general everyone underinvests in finding out what literally happens, what causes it, and what effects it has. We want to skip straight to reacting to it, especially socially and emotionally.
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This is why people have processes like "Five Whys" or experimental protocols or court trials with formal rules of evidence. "Ok what literally just happened here" will not usually be done well by default.
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Also, investigating "what literally just happened here" feels wasteful or "merely intellectual" if you aren't currently on board with the notion that there *is a problem worth caring about* in the first place. This is a legit disagreement! Just not usually made explicit.
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"Why are people going into so much detail to investigate what went 'wrong'? Things seem fine to me! This is bullshit!" <= totally valid reason not to want to do a postmortem.
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But if it's socially unacceptable to appear not to care about the problem, it's more likely that people will sabotage or derail the postmortem, or argue that it's being done wrong in some way, than own up to their real issue with it.
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