My husband pointed out something really useful the other day: a lot of stereotypical marital fights (about “you’re not pulling your weight” or “you don’t appreciate all the work I do”) are really about a resource constraint: your household does not have enough money.
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This is good to realize because it means you can be on the same team (and united in opposition to the forces making the Rent Too Damn High.)
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I’ve felt for a long time that middle- and upper-middle-class people are in denial about having money constraints, about admitting we can’t afford things, or making decisions based on money, or worrying about money. It all gets sublimated.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin
My sense is that since access to money for white-collars is often mediated by class membership, it's hard to disentangle the signaling considerations from actual needs and financial constraints.
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Replying to @ben_r_hoffman @s_r_constantin
Even people short on money, when they talk or think about their finances, are often mostly just expressing anxiety about class membership.
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I mean, I think it's better to actually think about class and what you need to be in your desired class, than to be confused about this.
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