at a sex workshop and thinking about a thing @leashless said once about (IIRC) how western neo-tantra fails because people shouldn't approach sex stuff before coming to terms with death
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but also let me give an example to show that this is not as obviously self-centered a heuristic as it seems. there is a kind of person who has been coerced into helping others and caring for others all their life, and who would benefit from breaking free of that
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there's a stage such a person might go through of relearning how to access what they actually want and how to do things that feel good to them rather than needing to give into their impression of what other people need them to do, and this is good and healthy; and there's more
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