The catch is, it has to be object level. It can't be anything like "make this person like me more" or "become a good person." Those are derived concepts that cash out to "social permission to do what you like."
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I'm starting to think "confidence" or "self-esteem", when we're referring to personality styles rather than beliefs, just cash out to willingness to do what you want without inhibition.
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Craving validation or social strokes in a way that isn't information-seeking -- like, "tell me I'm OK" -- seems like it's isomorphic to wanting to do some specific thing you've been inhibiting yourself from doing. Once you do the thing, the craving subsides.
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