3.) People who I can collaborate with on real-world projects that involve commitment; one way of thinking of this is "people I could loan money to and expect to get it paid back" (and who have the same assessment of me)
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4.) People I am willing to make serious efforts to help, even if this requires changing my life plans around or giving up things I wanted.
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Category 4 is basically limited to family; I think it's just impossible to have more than a handful of people you'd make *big* efforts for.
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I feel very rich in people I could collaborate substantively with (category 3) but kind of deprived of people to just do random social interaction with (category 2). Most people I know seem to have the opposite problem.
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Expanding your circle of "contactable people" (category 1) is super high value professionally. In grad school I learned that pretty much any academic or writer will reply to you if you have a thoughtful, polite question about their work.
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I know multiple people whose whole lives were transformed because they contacted a stranger whose work they admired. And even though I do this more than most people and it's been great for me, I still don't do it *enough*. https://thezvi.wordpress.com/2017/12/02/more-dakka/ … applies here.
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interesting — as an adult with children I don’t think I have anyone in category 2 (anymore?), not sure I ever did
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Yeah, that got a lot harder for me now that I have a kid. I wonder if it's inevitable?
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