I'm fairly good at *making friends* with people. I'm also good at getting focused work done solo. I find it *very* hard to get cognitively intense work done *with* people without feeling flustered/pressured. Any advice on this?
-
-
I (and many of my students) have found the article below helpful. Stating up front that you're a "hard on the problem" person & welcome the same from them can help too. Finally RBG's quote: "It helps to be a little deaf.":https://hbr.org/2013/12/conflict-strategies-for-nice-people …
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
I hope this isn’t too far afield, but it feels like some inspiration or potential pointer. I’ve had this go well in couples therapy I’ve been to. If the problem statement is “we need to learn how to do X together in our relationship” ...
-
... then a good therapist has you start to try doing X, (or talk about X), in tiny micro steps, and watch moment by moment what actually happens. Then provides small corrections of what to try instead, has you try that live during the session, see how THAT goes, etc
- 1 more reply
New conversation -
-
-
Here is the book I read. The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourse... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572242094/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdb_t1_x_74KmDb0GTNWV0 … via
@amazonThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
The book I read which I benefitted a lot from (I’ll link it below) was more so like, these are assertive behaviors, and these are not. Basically it is important to recognize things I did that were passive aggressive and learn the assertive alternative.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
It is hard to know what assertiveness is when you are used to interacting people a certain either passive or aggressive way. The book gives alternative approaches and exercises to recognize bad habits and develop good ones.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
I consider a good book like that does not just say it is important to do x. It explains how, and why.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
How to get past that? Perhaps let the situation become frustrating/untenneble enough that you are *compelled* to try X. Or alternately, lower the stakes in your imagination and turn trying X into a game.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.