Are you talking about collaborating with others on the cognitively intense work, or doing cognitively intense work with other people around you doing their own thing?
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Collaborating on the cognitively intense thing.
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Practice assertiveness skills. There’s a lot of good books on it. It is a very useful skill, most people are either too passive too aggressive or a bit of both. Assertiveness is a real superpower. And hard to do.
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Most books on social skills I've found just reiterate the problem statement. I think "I need to learn to do X, let me find a book" and the book just says "It's very important to do X." How do you get past that?
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Collaboration is like The Canterbury Tales for me. We all travel alone and sometimes get together and share knowledge, challenge, inspire. Then you're alone again until the next inn.
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I basically copies your comment but without the wit lol
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I’m bad at this too. What’s sorts worked for me is starting with very low expectations, leading with easy-win fun, then small trust-building warmups (date before marriage principle). In steady state, structure incentives right and keep things as asynchronous as possible.
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How I currently think about this is: my challenge is to articulate very very clearly what my goals are, and how important they are to me. That sets the tone, gets the right collaborators to join, &it’s easier to get the wrong ones off without hard feelingshttps://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1151053062955421698?s=21 …
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So in this case the approach would be: state kindly but firmly “here’s what I think is the best approach to achieve the best outcome - I’m happy to hear alternative suggestions but I’m committed to achieving X”https://twitter.com/s_r_constantin/status/1152320906124914688?s=21 …
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I do collaboration by having intense conversations and then each one goes their own way and works on their stuff
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