Punishment can be a self-replicating meme in the following way. If you were punished for doing something fun, and this hurt you & messed up your motivation structure, you'll resent others you see "getting away with" the same behavior, and punish them, out of envy.
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Being scared of envious "haters" makes you do dumb things out of cowardice, being angry at them makes you do dumb things out of resentment, and denying that they matter to you makes you suffer (because being in denial about problems *is* what suffering is.)
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I don't think I have a solution but I think the appropriate emotion is *sadness*. It is sad when other people have been hurt or don't have the same good fortune as you. Sometimes you can help, sometimes you can't. But acknowledge, and really emotionally process, that it's sad.
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Sometimes this means you need to have compassion for illegible harms -- like, maybe the hater in question is socioeconomically privileged, but someone in his youth made him feel shitty for caring sincerely about anything, and now he's trying to follow that "rule". That's sad too.
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Why does it follow that you'd resent seeing things you want in others? Couldn't you be inspired/motivated? Or happy at least someone is having a good time even if you aren't? There's presumably something else that's driving this thing to make that reaction seem natural.
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If you don't want to be *reminded* of what you don't have, maybe? If I never see anybody having the thing I want, I can forget that it was even an option.
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It's the difference between believing it's ok to live for your own enjoyment and the fulfillment of your own goals, and the belief you should sacrifice for the benefit of society. Those with more embrace capitalism & objectavism, those with less embrace altruism & collectavism
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"Crab basket mentality" captures that dynamic. The other crabs try to climb to freedom on the escaping crab and all fall together.
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