"Tall poppy syndrome" -- people being mean to others for being too successful, too outspoken, too "attention-seeking", having too much fun or too much good fortune -- happens because the attackers *wish they could have those things too.*
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Being scared of envious "haters" makes you do dumb things out of cowardice, being angry at them makes you do dumb things out of resentment, and denying that they matter to you makes you suffer (because being in denial about problems *is* what suffering is.)
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I don't think I have a solution but I think the appropriate emotion is *sadness*. It is sad when other people have been hurt or don't have the same good fortune as you. Sometimes you can help, sometimes you can't. But acknowledge, and really emotionally process, that it's sad.
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Sometimes this means you need to have compassion for illegible harms -- like, maybe the hater in question is socioeconomically privileged, but someone in his youth made him feel shitty for caring sincerely about anything, and now he's trying to follow that "rule". That's sad too.
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A lack of punishment can similarly bet self-replicating. So this fact of self-replicating doesn't tell us if we have too much or too little punishment.
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There are more critiques than "too much" or "too little." You know this! http://www.overcomingbias.com/2007/05/policy_tugowar.html …
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It can be self-replicating in other ways too. Some therapy stuff talks about the "inner critic" being an internalized judgmental person - you punish yourself so that others won't. And then that punishment transfers to punishing others as well, even if you're not envious of them.
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Classic example would be your parents being judgmental of you doing X, so you generate a model (an inner critical parent) of when your parents would punish you, and then that model prevents you from doing X - or at least makes you punish yourself afterwards if you do do X.
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hazees gonna haze
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This reproduces in monkeys, iirc, if you set up the right ladder + fire hose + bananas system
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