Good stuff but also must note that narcissists normally don’t realize when they’re in the wrong or have a- oh shit- I’ve got to change- moment...bc of them being trapped in self. So love won’t usually work and it’s honestly a bit grim to think about.
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Exactly, they blame everyone else for their own actions. The loving thing to do is leave them until they make the decision to change when they run out of people to exploit. If you hate yourself you cannot love anyone, everyone is a commodity.
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I’m only just seeing that he had gone directly from ‘commodity’ to ‘commodity’. For years I believed I hadn’t been ‘good enough’ for him! I’ve done a lot of self care and turned that right around


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Unfortunately parasites are difficult to spot until you're free of them. Delighted you have detached yourself from him. Self love/care is the way to keep good boundaries and have relationships with people worth your time.
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Love is the answer to what? Changing them? Love them for how long... 10, 20, 30 years? Dedicate your life to loving someone who ultimately doesn’t care if you aren’t around unless it inconveniences them? Don’t tell vulnerable people that they didn’t love well enough.
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I believe love yourself enough and get out of the relationship is the answer!
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I think you need to be extremely careful in how you speak on narcissism...you cant just love them enough to change. A good read is Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare by Shahida Arabi. It saved my life.
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I agree with you 100% Stephanie! My Daughter just came out of a relationship with a Narcissist! Sadly I watched the strong independent Woman I raised, become a beaten down shell of herself! No amount of Love was going to change this Man....... Her path to healing will be long...
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Oh my heart goes out to her. I left Sunday. It was 7 years in the making. That book has saved me, it has allowed me to start rebuilding back to who I know I am - strong, driven, capable and happy. Your daughter is lucky to have your support!

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Wishing you nothing but happiness and healing


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Bill Eddy is a great author on the topic. Of all the lit I have combed grouch trying to put myself back together-his was the only that made sense. If anyone needs support on this, feel free to reach out. There is a dawn after the bleakest night

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I will check him out, too. Thank you!
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These people are living in their own thinking, they do not understand other people's thinking patterns, but also think they are the most intelligent! There are quite a lot of people like this.
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excellent comment. It is absolutely pointless in trying to reason with one. They cannot grasp the reality of a situation or problem caused by themselves. Giving up is the best thing I ever did.
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Narcissists are extremely sensitive to even the most basic & minor criticism or positive feedback & they will deflect & turn everything around on u trying to fool you into thinking you're the problem & the one to blame for everything. Plus they won't let u get a word in edgewise.
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Spot on. It's their extreme oversensitivity and thin skin which is one of the most baffling aspects.
#TheRealDonaldTrump
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Sending you nothing but love Russell, but I couldn't "love" my Narc to good mental health. I had to leave him to save myself.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Don't know if he's a narcissist. Maybe just selfish. He's a kind man, but was never able or wanted to connect with me. I gave him all the love in the world, but he said to me he's never been in love. The best thing he did was break up with me to set me free, but when will I heal?
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Just remember it wasn’t a lacking in you but whatever lacking they felt within them. I went through the same thing, most days are still hard, but it’s easier when I don’t blame their problems on me. Hope things get better for you.
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Thank you. It's recent that's why it's hard. But I know it's for the best. Time is the best doctor.
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Mine is unfortunately pretty recent too, rehashing everything over in my mind has been the hardest bit, if you like to read I suggest “inside the minds of angry and controlling men” it’s helped me quite a bit. My last partner wasn’t physically abusive but the emotional stuff :

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I'm sorry you went through that. I didn't have that experience. He's a caring man, but not a thoughtful man. He was emotionally unavailable and not ready for a relationship. All I need is time and repeating to myself that he can't give me what I want & something better will come
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But the point I was trying to set across to Russell as well, is that love doesn't heal a narcissist or a selfish man, or an abusive man and it's not our responsibility to give that love when none is returned. Only when that person decides to change, change can happen for them.
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Absolutely!
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