I'm "cable box with push buttons" years old
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w/buttons?
I'm "slide this channel guide card in the crack above the dial on the cable box & watch the pay channels for free" old. 
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"Had an 'antenna cable thingy' so I could play Adventure on my Atari 2600" years old.
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I'm missingno years old
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I'm "I've used the Yellow/White pages" years old.
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In a similar vein, I'm "300 baud and local BBSes were my Internet back in the day" years old.
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Bwahahaha fuckin dial-up.
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