Guy planning the "St Paddys Shamrock 5K" left a note telling everyone to wear as much green as possible. I told him I only owned orange, and hoped that was ok. He didn't get it. No one ever gets it. Because reading even a little about this Totally Serious Holiday is too much.
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I don't drink a lot of Guinness. There are better stouts. I don't mind the occasional one, but I'm certainly not going to go buy some on ceremony. Bagpipes are... you know honestly nevermind I'm not going to go there. Not worth it.
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This is usually where I get told that I should just relax and have fun, that "MOST" Irish people aren't so thin skinned, I should appreciate people celebrating. Only, you're not. You're just dying shitty beer green and making an ass of yourself. Which you'll do again on May 5.
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Anyway I have now ranted pointlessly about a silly drinking holiday. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
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End of conversation
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