Roy Wood Jr- Cub FanVerified account

@roywoodjr

I do comedy on a stage, sometimes on . Proud FAMU grad reppin the 205. I might not be shit to you but my mama thinks I made it.

NYC in Body/ Alabama in Spirit
roywoodjr.com
Joined May 2009
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Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    10 Apr 2015 Los Angeles, CA

    "If comedians don't say it, who will? We have to swim in edgier waters than everyone else."- Ch'uch

    141 retweets 674 likes
  2. 5 hours ago

    Some poor intern is about to get fired. Look at the headline:

    1,534 retweets 2,272 likes
  3. 4 hours ago Manhattan, NY

    > When the Trick or Treaters knock but you on the toilet

    14 retweets 61 likes
  4. 4 hours ago Manhattan, NY

    Circus. Peanuts.

    Worst candy of all-time. Name em...
    6 retweets 51 likes
  5. 20 hours ago

    Fly the Dubya.

    7 retweets 58 likes
  6. Oct 30 Manhattan, NY

    Denzel. But he gotta be drunk.

    1. Would you rather fly in a plane with Denzel or Tom Hanks?
    8 retweets 100 likes
  7. Oct 29

    Mood

    20 retweets 69 likes
  8. Oct 29 Manhattan, NY

    I have it on good word from Senator Clay Davis that will bounce back tonight.

    17 retweets 96 likes
  9. Oct 28 Highview, KY

    Good win Tribe. That bullpen is a damn beast

    20 retweets 95 likes
  10. Oct 28

    This presidential election is almost as exciting as...

    9 retweets 68 likes
  11. Oct 28

    Game 3 Indians hex.

    19 retweets 69 likes
  12. Oct 27

    "Aye bruh, remember that slot you used to use on our device?...it's gone bruh"- Every single Apple Event.

    45 retweets 114 likes
  13. Oct 27

    I heard the Sixers wouldn't even let Bill Nye wear a 'Grey Matter' t-shirt, either. Too close.

    17 retweets 42 likes
  14. Oct 27

    so is it too late tell ya'll to follow me on Vine or nah?

    14 retweets 81 likes
  15. Oct 27

    If that's true, that's the greatest revenge story of all time. Should be a Lifetime movie.

    apparently future slept with scotties wife because he wouldn't sign him an autograph when he was younger 😂😂
    25 retweets 79 likes
  16. Oct 26 Manhattan, NY

    That's clearly Jackie Robinson #42

    only real cubs fans can name this player
    14 retweets 69 likes
  17. Oct 26 Manhattan, NY

    30 mins into Cultural Appropriation and Chill & he gives you this look...

    374 retweets 499 likes
  18. Oct 26

    Jordan baseball cleats?... Fine. At least he played a sport. But Yeezys baseball spikes?.... Nah

    3 retweets 50 likes
  19. Oct 26 Manhattan, NY

    Disgusting

    they make Yeezy cleats too tho 😒
    18 likes
  20. Oct 26 Manhattan, NY

    Jordan played minor league baseball for ONE year & can sell baseball cleats. Thats how good he was at basketball

    58 retweets 131 likes
  21. Oct 26 Miami, FL

    Of course they are. Slap whoever told you they weren't

    Sneakerheads ,settle an argument for me, are these Js or nah?
    3 retweets 18 likes

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